feeling our way

So not a lot has changed really. No outside play times, though Goddess did have a date with the former BF. They had fun, she decided not tog get physical but kissed him goodnight. I got a text from the TC asking for a bj, unfortunately that night wasn't good and he hasn't texted back though Goddess has given me permission to serve him. I have a potential date to play with my young stallion but it isn't for sure. To be honest I miss being with a man badly. I want to be used by one soon, hoping. Goddess is super busy. We celebrated her bday and went out of town. I set up a date fro her. He was nice, a large black man with a very nice cock. I had met him on the SV site and he was a good match for her interest in trying a dominant BBC. They hit it off OK but she held back and they only kissed good night. It was an interesting mix for me, part humiliation, part exhilaration. I never really thought I would get off on humiliation but i have to admit I did. When they walked down the street with his arm around her, her holding my hand I was humiliated. It was obvious what was going on. Then they kissed in the hotel lobby as several people watched, just after she lets go of my hand to hold him. but later as we played wow what a mind fuck. It really got us both going. Not sure where this will lead. Excited, scared.....mostly excited, I am such a slut!

The more things change.....

....the more they stay the same. We have reversed field a bit and are back to just us for now. I am sure things will move forward but it will take some time and it will take Goddess not being so busy or a whole lot more horny LOL. I have enjoyed Her attention for sure, I feel loved and very closely connected. We have kept our roles in play time just eliminated the "others". I miss the two boys and their lovely tools, Goddess knows this. I also miss her being cuckolded, though it comes with it share of contrary or seemingly contrary emotions it is a powerful coctail and I miss it. The last video she made with Her TC was so hot I came the first time I watched it without touching myself. I have watched it many times since I can can barely touch my clitty without an explosion. We did discuss what we liked and didnt like, what worked and didnt and how it would be possible to move forward from here and I am sure we will it is just a matter of time now.

One of the things that we often speak of is our "economy" - think Beautiful Mind. What She gets and what i get have to be percieved by each of us as equal. She gets bananas and i get coffee but as long as the trade is equal we are all good. If coffee is short she may let me have some cocoa instead. She and i both felt toward the end of the previous play time i was getting short changed. She was no more comfortable with that than i was. Please dont bother with the "your a sissy you get what you get" comments. This is real life and we love each other, we want an equitable loving relationship in all this playtime that suits both of us. We are still first and foremost best friends, husband and wife, life partners - we arent throwing that out for some sexual fun. So the economy will still need tweaked a bit and I htink that may also be holding Goddess back. Though I dont think any major changes are in order when we do go back.