This blog relates the real life adventures of a married couple in their 30's. We are happily married for more than 10 years and have chosen to open our marriage up to new sexual realities, including cuckolding, sissification and a wife led marriage. All while loving each other more each day. If this is not your thing it's OK but this may not be the place for you. If you enjoy it please feel free to leave a comment. If you have questions please leave those as well. It is written by both Goddess and sissy - sharing all our thoughts and feelings regarding the journey. All the pictures on here are taken by me or found on the web. If I found it on the web I assumed it was part of the public domain. If you see a picture that is yours and want it removed please let me know and I will remove it.

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Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Getting comfortable....

Things have been much the same lately. I played with my young friend a few weeks ago. Was very nice, he makes me feel very much like a woman. He fucked me twice, which is becoming normal for his visits. He enjoys my tight little butt and has gotten into making me cum like a sissy. we text every so often, getting each other hot and I send him shots of my panty covered butt or clitty. I enjoy this side of me a lot lately. Goddess hasnt been feeling very sexual (she does have a social date lined up for next week but no sex on the side). So it is a nice sexual outlet for me. i may be getting together with her TC soon, which I am very much looking forward to. I am thinking of some ideas for him and a 3some with her, which I know he misses. Goddess sounds OK with it but timing will be important. She is very busy at work but it may also be she is just moving into a period of low sex drive in her life. I am OK with that. I have a high drive but she lets me have outlets and I can honestly get by on porn, blogs, fantasy etc.. and the occaisional play with her if need be. I am however greatful for the outlets.

I feel very happy. I am getting comfortable being a sissy. It hasnt affected any other part of my life and is just how i operate at home and within sex but those are huge areas for me. We had sex last night and I got to be in her. But i was a sissy in her not a real man trying to satisfy her. We both seem to enjoy that idea and it works for both of us. I love how she loves me as I am. I may not be this way forever - though I may - but I am really enjoying being able to express an inner desire that has been locked in me since I can remember. She tells me alot, and really expressed it deeply last night in words and deed, that she loves me and thinks i am awesome. But honestly I am just greatful to her for being who she is and really helping me be me. I am a sissy but very much in love with my wife!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Update...sort of...

Sorry it has been so long. Nothing much has changed really. We traveled quite a bit recently which is part of my absence from the blag. the other thing is we havent really played much. Goddess has been very busy and stressed with work and both of us have dealt with family issues. So playing has taken a back seat. We have each played once since the last post. My one time was with my young friend. I let him in me bareback and he came in me. It was the first time ever for me to have someone come in me. I really did enjoy it and look forward to doing it again. I miss playing with him. I am craving playing with a man period really. I miss sucking cock and being filled. But things are good and I love serving my Goddess as much as she lets me.

Monday, August 27, 2012

feeling our way

So not a lot has changed really. No outside play times, though Goddess did have a date with the former BF. They had fun, she decided not tog get physical but kissed him goodnight. I got a text from the TC asking for a bj, unfortunately that night wasn't good and he hasn't texted back though Goddess has given me permission to serve him. I have a potential date to play with my young stallion but it isn't for sure. To be honest I miss being with a man badly. I want to be used by one soon, hoping. Goddess is super busy. We celebrated her bday and went out of town. I set up a date fro her. He was nice, a large black man with a very nice cock. I had met him on the SV site and he was a good match for her interest in trying a dominant BBC. They hit it off OK but she held back and they only kissed good night. It was an interesting mix for me, part humiliation, part exhilaration. I never really thought I would get off on humiliation but i have to admit I did. When they walked down the street with his arm around her, her holding my hand I was humiliated. It was obvious what was going on. Then they kissed in the hotel lobby as several people watched, just after she lets go of my hand to hold him. but later as we played wow what a mind fuck. It really got us both going. Not sure where this will lead. Excited, scared.....mostly excited, I am such a slut!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The more things change.....

....the more they stay the same. We have reversed field a bit and are back to just us for now. I am sure things will move forward but it will take some time and it will take Goddess not being so busy or a whole lot more horny LOL. I have enjoyed Her attention for sure, I feel loved and very closely connected. We have kept our roles in play time just eliminated the "others". I miss the two boys and their lovely tools, Goddess knows this. I also miss her being cuckolded, though it comes with it share of contrary or seemingly contrary emotions it is a powerful coctail and I miss it. The last video she made with Her TC was so hot I came the first time I watched it without touching myself. I have watched it many times since I can can barely touch my clitty without an explosion. We did discuss what we liked and didnt like, what worked and didnt and how it would be possible to move forward from here and I am sure we will it is just a matter of time now.

One of the things that we often speak of is our "economy" - think Beautiful Mind. What She gets and what i get have to be percieved by each of us as equal. She gets bananas and i get coffee but as long as the trade is equal we are all good. If coffee is short she may let me have some cocoa instead. She and i both felt toward the end of the previous play time i was getting short changed. She was no more comfortable with that than i was. Please dont bother with the "your a sissy you get what you get" comments. This is real life and we love each other, we want an equitable loving relationship in all this playtime that suits both of us. We are still first and foremost best friends, husband and wife, life partners - we arent throwing that out for some sexual fun. So the economy will still need tweaked a bit and I htink that may also be holding Goddess back. Though I dont think any major changes are in order when we do go back.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

More changes...

So Last week I had 3 play times...all with men. I sucked the TC off on his back porch as well as in our basement, the last time resulting in him shooting all over my chest. I also played with my young man and had a very nice fuck from him, very sensual and enjoyable thanks to a little instruction to him from Goddess! It was also a trying week as the TC relationship with Goddess was apparently ratcheted up some. While were both excited by the TC willingness to accept service from me, he became more demanding as he thought he understood what Goddess wanted from him, or rather what she would allow him. I think he misunderstood her pillow talk. I saw the video of the night they shared, it was very erotic and She got him to take on the TC dominating role she wanted.  Unfortunately he took it too far and became demanding. I got jealous, as a sissy does from time to time. Unknown to me the BF also showed some possessiveness toward Goddess on their date.

So when I brought up the jealousy, the feeling of imbalance (she has not dommed me in some time) and the feeling of isolation I was beginning to have Goddess brought up the idea of taking a break, telling all the boys to back off and give us space until we say to start again. So we did. I think for Goddess Her men became too demanding of her time and possessive. Since She has taken over our business She has enough demands on Her time and stress without the men who were supposed to be a pleasant distraction becoming stressful and demanding in their own right. They say timing is everything, in this case it was as both of us felt that it wasn't working. In the past Goddess had said She would not consent to make me her sissy without some "real man" on the side. Which makes sense. I think the man part can be satisfied by 3somes with some well hung men from the website we like so much but she is less excited about 3somes and really loves alone play.

One thing we agree on is we love the "Goddess and sissy" roles. Now we have to figure out how to make it work for us, comfortably and happily with love. 

So now we regroup to make sense of it all, again. But through all this the love and understanding remain strong! I love her so much!!!

Sunday, July 22, 2012


funny how when you throw out wishes or desires into the air/universe you get a chance to try out that nwe  thing or attitude or whatever you desire to obtain.  shelly is right now, as i type, giving our tc a bj because i was too tired to do so myself.  our tc finally showed interest in shelly flying solo and i finally agreed to let shelly have some fun without me! making strides. i also gave shelly marching orders to pursue a female friendship of my choosingi. also, a huge step for the goddess.
I am trying very hard to uphold the name Goddess.  Sometimes I don't feel like one. The hardest thing for me ts to refrain from being so selfish.  Being so self-focused is par for the course but doesn't give me free reign to ignore giving my sissy what she desires.  Make no mistake, I absolutely give her what she needs by way of teasing by dancing for her and making her feel like man again but then teasing her little clitty reminding her she's not a real man.  I punish her in the way I see fit administering whips from the crop on her ass, thighs and ballsbut what she desires I don't gravitate towards.  I of course, gravitate towards my desires and/or giving her pleasure as I want to without her in mind.  This is what it is to be Goddess as well, right? However, since she is my cuchold sissy there are paraemeters or rules we keep that we call "the economy."  She will glady give me "bananas" as long as she gets her "coffee."  When the economy gets out of balance, that is when she becomes an unhappy sissy.  This doesn't happen very often because we "check-in" weekly to make sure we are both still in agreement with "the economy".

It's not hard, she just wants to be physically dominated and used by me.  Things I like to do but instead, I continually put my desires before hers.  They look like things that are easy and really fun! For ME.  Go out with my boyfriend, meet my TC over the lunch hour to be his whore and get pounded by him for an hour, seduce other men of interest as the seduction game is very fun for me as well is the mistress role.  None of these scenarios include my sissy.  Although I don't disclude her on purpose.  I am still trying to figure what would be fun to do together.  I know that challenging fun that breeds a little competition or jealousy is good for me, for us so we are discussing the next step to make an appropriate scenario happen.  My interest in a femmesub has waxed and wained so we are going to begin exploring the idea of a couple I can send her to serve.  We've approached and begun down this road before but I haulted it as I get too jealous.  However, I feel I am ready to try this again.  I know Shelly is!  Tonight we are going to put what we are looking for on our profile on a swingers site.  We will see how it goes.

Monday, July 9, 2012

begging for cock....

I saw a post on "a life of submission blog" that got my sissy juices flowing. I have never begged for cock but I really want to. I have fantasized about it numerous times and shared it with Goddess, She would like to see it as well. My young friend is coming over this week I think so maybe I will ask him to make me beg for it. I really want to beg for Goddess TC. Even though I have sucked it many times I am not sure he is ready to make me beg for it, maybe he is - I would love it, especially if I was wearing panties while I did it! Goddess shared a photo of her BF cock the other day and told me to edge looking at it. Of course I was begging for it in my mind in no time.

This weekend was spent with Goddess and kids. i really was greatful for Her time and attention. As the last post indicated i really needed it. She was very loving and giving all weekend and we had a lot of fun together. we had some nice sex, great conversations and lots of cuddling. Life is good! Goddess is wonderful!

Sunday, July 1, 2012


It has been an interesting week. Very busy for both Goddess and i, Hers at work and mine a little of both work and home - admittedly she was busier than i. I saw my young friend again this week. I dressed in a white skirt and pink top for him, he liked it a lot. The make up was better but still needs work. I did much better deep throating him, and took a pounding from him. I realized part way through the evening that being with a man is a rush and fantasy fulfillment but it is just not the same as being with a woman in terms of overall experience. Or maybe it is just that way with him. i am not terribly attracted to him. He is cute with a nice young fit body and really nice cock but there is no attractive emotional connection. he is nice but still a kid in some ways and not very interesting to me outside of sex. Oh well, still fun! And i am learning from him as he has been with several cross dressers. He has some really good tips and ideas.

As a result of Goddess business busyness we didn't connect much this week, in fact i added to her stress at work - so I felt some distance. I don't blame her at all. But as she reached out to her BF (including a very fun date midweek) and the TC for comfort from the storm it did bring up some struggle with jealousy. We talked through all that and ended up having some really nice sex - i got to cum inside Her yesterday. And be in Her bottom this morning as she came - though i had to pull out and not cum. She has had a few nice orgasms as well. And we had a very nice date night last night. Today she is consumed with work - again I totally understand. She needs to be, She is building Her career right now and taking over a business so being consumed with work is normal, even for a Sunday. But as a result She will reach out to the "harem" again and since i am part of the business there will be distance. Since we had the nice weekend i will struggle less with jealousy regarding Her attention but i do get jealous of not having anyone i can reach out to when i feel a need for connection. We talked through that some as well this week as i struggled with it during the week. i am not sure an easy solution is available, i think in some ways Goddess would like me to have someone - it would relieve Her of the stress of me needing it from Her all the time. But who is the question. She will have to be the one to choose if an outlet for connection is to be chosen for me. i will wait for Her as i am a good sissy!

Overall it is two people who love each other very much adjusting to a new lifestyle - both personal and career. There are ups and downs. I think we both still remain excited about this new life but it is not always easy. But with love, communication, grace and understanding we will move forward and grow in this new life. I love her so much and I believe she loves me the same!

Monday, June 25, 2012


I apologize to my readers, if there are any left, for not posting in so long. I haven't posted in 3 weeks, though Goddess posted a little more recently than that. Not much has changed or happened really. Goddess has continued seeing her boyfriend and her trophy cock. I tied her once for him, so she was waiting tied and blind folded in a baby doll. I think based on reactions it was one of her favorite sessions in some time, I believe it will have to be repeated! I also think She would like it repeated at some point with several men - in fact she said as much. She also has mentioned an interest in a black man or BBC in the cuckolding vernacular. I was always surprised this didn't come up sooner. As a sissy it has always been something I thought I would want were I Her. But until recently it has not been mentioned. I was thrilled She mentioned it and I hope we make it happen! Also she has been thinking a lot about a female submissive. She has been out with or thought about a few different girls but nothing has tripped Her trigger yet. She has something in mind and will wait till She finds it or She will get horny enough for it to go for something close!

One item of interest is we decided to give up on the Sissy Maid Handbook. Well not completely but in large part. It became too rigid and didn't fit what we were hoping to do with our life. I have continued reading some and Goddess will as well I think but in a more discussion oriented manner than so strictly. I have not seen my stallion again but I may this week! Yeah!

We spent the weekend away last weekend just a Goddess and her sissy. Some really nice sex including me being back in Her - which was really nice. She was still Goddess during it and let me know it was not for Her pleasure, as my little clitty does nothing for Her but as a reward. She teased me about cumming to quickly to do much for Her anyway, which of course made me cum in minutes! it was really nice to get away, i treasure those times with Her. Oh and we shopped and got some clothes for me, nothing like a whole outfit yet but some promising pieces.

Life seems good. We both agreed we are happy with where things are at right now. I love my Goddess!!!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Shelly's training

Have had a low libido lately.  Between being sick and the female cycles I am truly a Goddess in that I get whatever I want when I want especially in these times when Shelly, boyfriend and trophy cock all have to suffer through with me and simply enjoy my presence devoid (sometimes totally) of sex.  However, sexuality is always there and all understand as they are wonderful worshippers as would only exit in my harem. 

I have continued Shelly's sissy training if though the above mentioned situation exists.  We are on Day 6 and we've covered items we've already done or explored like shaving, naming, duties, etc. However, the items we haven't explored but I needed for Shelly to explore was the sissy attitude and exploration of her feminine side.  That has been intriguing and perfectly timed since I have been more introspective myself.  I am training her in getting in touch with what she feels and with her reasons for wanting and/or being a sissy.  It has been wonderful and when she fights back now, I remind her of her tarining and then proceed to crop her ass and stand her in the corner.  I have sent Stallion pictures of this and asked him to help me in the training.  Two heads are better than one after all...

Sunday, June 3, 2012


So where to begin...Goddess should always be the beginning so let start there. As the posts alluded to last week we had some issues with me acting up. We have decided that the idea of parameters on Goddess were un-Goddess like. So at this point she is free to meet, have sex, text or chat as much as She likes. In some ways this makes things easier...but it also creates more fear on my part. I have no right to expect anything now, though I know we can always talk things through. Anyway, my love and devotion to Her grow. I truly lust after Her as much or more than I ever have, which Goddess would happily admit is a LOT. She truly is my Goddess.

The blog has seem some changes obviously. I like the colors better now, seem fitting to me and well....pretty! I changed my blog "name" to something more fitting. As Goddess said I now have a female name, which i will address more on later. But I am going to leave my blog name as is for now, enough change on that end. I also changed some wording here and there but probably need to do more. Another obvious change is I created a blog identity for Her so She could post more easily and it would be obvious who was posting, plus with Her commenting on others blogs it was just getting too confusing. Obviously She enjoys posting as She has done a lot lately - a wonderful addition i think to the blog! Also i will post fewer porn type pictures, I like them but I think the blog deserves a little classier appearance now. i reserve the right to post a few though, well till Goddess tells me not too....

Now for the sissy. Goddess has given me a name, Shelly. I like it. I am getting used to it, Goddess has used it a lot since giving it to me a few days ago. It does put me in a sissy place for sure. Also as I said before Goddess gave me permission to seek out some male friendship on I chatted with 2 guys. One younger and one older. i would have thought my chances were better with the older guy but we ended up meeting with the younger one. Goddess calls him stallion....giggles...he is well hung and young so i guess it fits! I got to play with him after we met for drinks. Goddess put on my make-up and i slipped inty a sexy baby doll. Goddess left and we played. we videoed it for Goddess. I loved it. I sucked and had him in me pounding and got to eat his cum, wow. He is cute, not real dominant looking but likes to be Dom. He is so young, mid 20's so I am 10 plus years older. We have chatted some since, quite a bit the next day. He likes participating in my training, which Goddess likes as well.We both have marriages, both spouses know but it creates logistical and permission issues. Anyway i hope we get to play again but I am continuing with my training and serving with my Goddess so I am Happy!

Sissy has a new name

I will graciously let Sissy post about her first experience with a dominant stallion of a young man but have to tell you she now has a name!  This is something we've both been contemplating for the last several months since we began this journey, should sissy have a name?  Nothing came to mind until "the stallion" as I call him, asked her if she had a name or if he could name her.  Obedient and loyally she first asked her goddess the question before responding.  I immediately said "Shelly".  It instantly  popped into my memory once questioned.  I used ot have a fantasy (years ago!) about a woman that I called Shelly.  It was a very real fantasy and very erotic for me saying that name so I instantly knew who my sissy should be.  My old fantasy about another woman! PERFECT!

Follow up on "Teasing"

As you recall, an old friend was lured to our house for a good teasing then sent home with no reward because he refused to ask for anything that he REALLY wanted.  The next evening however, he was blowing up sissy's phone with thoughts of things he wanted to do with us.  Revolving guessed it...dominance.  I dominating he and sissy for an evening.  Sissy obediently gave him my cell number so he could text me all the things he REALLY wanted to do.  (I am a generous goddess I just need to hear from my servants what they want. Otherwise, they get nothing unless I want/choose to give it to them.)    Thus began a night of texting back and forth until 2 a.m!  Of course, I had a very fun time with sissy in the mean time.  I danced for her, (she loves being reminded of the fact that she cannot have me like a real man can or does) and teased her clitty and pussy.  During this session was texting back and forth with old friend.   He told me everything he would like to do to me including raping my soul which was a favorite.  He got to "see" my body for the first time including a close up of my pussy which he loved and I loved teasing him with the photos.  I ordered him to send me a photo of his cock which he shyly exclaimed he'd never done before but of course, did anyway.  As the texting wrapped up, I quickly found out however, that he liked the idea of dominance but was less submissive than I would like.  I told him my fantasy as described in my earlier post called "Teasing".  He thought that sounded amazing and I concurred.  We shall see what happens.  Stay tuned.... 

Monday, May 28, 2012


Yesterday, I had a fun time teasing sissy and an old friend.  This old friend didn't know exactly where we were at sexually but "had his suspicions."  I wanted to tease sissy with the possibility that I would out her and I knew this friend thought I was hot and wanted to fuck me so I decided to invite him over.  I told sissy I wanted us to "feel" him out and decide how much we wanted to share.  You see, he could be a good fit for my sissy to talk to as well as myself to dominate.  He is kind of a malesub or sissy who doesn't realize yet that he is a sissy.  I know my sissy would enjoy bringing him out and I would enjoy another malesub /goddess worshipper to bring into my harem.  I really enjoyed teasing this friend to the point of bursting.  He almost blurted out his intentions but remained reserved.  Because of his inability to be honest with us and beg for what he wanted, I didn't reward him.  I instead sent him home hard and telling us he will think about cigars and domination all night.  I would love to tease this friend with an invitation first to poker or chess at our house.  Then show up at the door in a naughty outfit showing skin and control the rest of the evening.  I know he will jump to conclusions thinking I want to have sex with him.  That will make it all the more fun to then dominate him, sit him down and tell him to play poker and I will be serving himself and my sissy all night.  build anticipation, tease him.  then send him home again, without having touched me let alone been able to cum.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Must Needed Humiliation Session

My little sissy cuckold was punished severely last night for pouting and fighting back against Goddess' dominance.  It seems sissy is having a problem being a cuckold even though it moves her into such excitement.  She not only fought her role as cuckold, she fought against her role as submissive.  Needless to say we had a great humiliation/punishment session last night.  Wednesday night while I was with my BF I had her place a butt plug in while she chatted with a daddy and a stallion interest at clubsissy.  I told her that if she needed to pee to do so in a container and place that in the fridge.  I teased her all week with how I was going to use that sissy pee.  Well, last night I used it.  I had her walk to our room on her knees then had her on all fours.  First, I spanked her lovely bottom with a riding crop until there were some decent sized welts.  Then I had her get towels to lay down under her.  She was nervous with anticipation.  I then began to pour the ice cold pee on her in litttle spurts making her let it dribble down her chest and neck.  Each time she flinched and exclaimed at it, I spanked her.  I then had her go to the bathroom and wait for me.  I put her in the tub and told her to lie down.  I then squatted over her perched on the bathtub walls and began to pee on her myself while I rubbed her now very excited little clitty.  The whole time she exclaimed my beauty, my pussy's beauty and her love for me.  I asked her if she liked her punsihment.  She said no and that she would never pout or fight back again and instead if she does, she will ask for punishment.  Such a good sissy.  I think her humiliation session was much needed and worked.

Friday, May 25, 2012

feeling like a sissy

The other night Goddess had a date with her BF. This date was going to be a little different and she was excited. I will leave the details to Her if She wishes but She came home very dissapointed. I had to immediately console Her. It was odd to console Her over a date but it felt right and i felt good doing it and was glad i was there for Her. The next day they texted, as usual, most the day and he made it up to Her and promised it would never happen again. It even created some fun new ideas for them to try in the future. She really wanted to see him again that night but he couldnt, in fact he will be unavailable until next week it seems. I felt very jealous about all this. Her feelings for him go beyond sex and sexual attraction, they are romantic. He is becoming the "Man" in her life, much like Jay in the All Mine blog. Our situation is different from Suzzanne and Tammi as well as from Jay's so it will never look like that - we have kids at home, are too closely tied to a small community, BF has his own situation, etc......but none the less the same feelings are beginning to show. Their sex (Goddess and BF) is not like Goddess sex with Her TC, the BF sex is more passionate - she enjoys it immensly even when his perfomance isnt what either would want just because it is him ....  she craves it in fact. So how do I feel about all this? I apologzed last night for "acting up", I had kind of pouted in a moment of intense jealous feeling. It was wrong and my apology was heartfelt. As she left today I suggested maybe he had time for lunch. I know She is anxious to see him again and have a good moment with him. i feel very much like a sissy in that moment but a sissy driven by a love for her Goddess not acting out of a desire for humiliation. i am proud of myself for that, i am a good sissy!

As for me, there is a lot to tell as well. I am feeling much the sissy these days. Today I am home from work on one of my sissy days. Goddess is giving me one day a week to be home from work and be a sissy all day. i do housework, take care of kids, run errands etc... We are hopeful to turn this into two days soon and someday 3 days a week. i do really enjoy it. It will be more fun the days kids arent ehre so i can more fully dress, for now it is panties under my clothes. Speaking of dressing i, for the first time have a desire to fully dress. I dont have a girl outfit, so far just some lingerie and panties. We did buy me a wig. But I want an outfit, hopefully something i look good in. i am thinking a shirt and skirt with some stockings - typical i know right? How do you shop for somehting like this? I shopped the other day for a new nighty, just guessing at my size. I got it right but paying for it i was so embarrassed. yes i am sure they thought it was for my Wife right? But She wasnt with me and the process was tough. The thought of trying to pick out a shirt and And how do I do it without trying it on? Goddess must come with me of course. i havent asked yet, i am going to this weekend. i am sure She will do it, i think, i hope.....sigh such is the life of a dominated, cuckolded, sissy....yeah! :)

So Goddess gave me permission to go on and advertise for a guy. I met two prospects, i will save details for later but both are interesting. Both dominant and both want to see me fully dressed if we play. One is more willing to compromise than the other but the want is there. Yes that drives some of the want to have an outfit but honestly it is coming from deeper places i think. Goddess is very kind to give me this wonderful opportunity for an outlet, i think she is excited about it as well. Like most "connections" on the internet the odds of it working with either guy are slim but it is fun to try and who knows? BTW clubsissy is a lot of fun for any of you sissys out there and it is free - mostly lol. Thanks to the anonomous person who suggested it!

Thats all for to be a sissy!

One of the

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Goddess training

I am now Goddess full time while my sissy is well, a sissy about 75% of the time which makes it rough on her.  The transition to full time Goddess was easy for me to begin and continue to practice but for my sissy, the transition is much harder and more impossible at times.  For instance, I can feel confident and be in charge with little physical changes.  My sissy cannot physically show her submission through dress, make up and wig all the time or quite as easily like she would like to.  Because of this inequality in the "sexual ecomony" as we call it, my boyfriend (formerly known as my mind fuck) visits, texting with him and dates have had to be limited to what is comfortable for my sissy (texting during the day during the week only, and two visits per week one social and one sexual). 

This parameter is doing something interesting however, for my "Goddess training" as I call it.  I realized my boyfriend was really helping me through this transition and was like my role model in being the Dom.  Now that my communication is limited I am looking for other outlets to support my new dominant role.  Such as when I am home enjoying my weekend, I will enjoy a cigar and a drink whenever I damn well feel like it.  Embracing the role of the bread winner who needs to relax and rejuvenate during her weekend.  My sissy serves me and plays look out for our children (I don't want them to see me smoking).  This drives my feelings of dominance and my sissy's desire to be submissive to me in an uncanny way. 

This morning I put a 9 inch (and counting) dildo in her pussy and made her rub herself off on a pillow, a very humiliating behavior for my sissy.  Tonight, I put a plug in her pussy and told her she could have play time and had 30 minutes before it was time for bed.  As soon as I finish my Goddess time I will put her to bed.  Next time I think I should put her to bed then go out and have Goddess time.  Hmmmm, next date with my boyfriend I think I will do that.

The "Goddess training" has been stepped up a notch with the inability to rely solely on my boyfriend to inpsire my dominance and is more about me drawing from my inner strength and desire to be dominant.  Even without an extremely high libido right now, I am enjoying dominating, humiliating and being Goddess.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Should sissy have a "girlfriend"?

My sissy is feeling the need to express herself as she mentioned in her earlier post.  She would like to express to a "friend."  There is a particular friend, a BBW she's fantasized about serving even before we began down the road of a sissy/goddess relationship.  My question is, do my fellow goddess'/dom's allow their sissy's/wifey's to have "girlfriends" that have previously been romantic interests they wanted to play with as dom's themselves? 

I am having a hard time allowing this relationship and I think I have figured out why just tonight.  Among other reasons (like quite frankly a BBW is a goddess herself) because this BBW was a romantic interest before our change in dynamic and now I feel as though my sissy is subverting my dominance by wanting this BBW to remain in her life.  I want to give my sissy an outlet of someone to talk to because I enjoy very much being a loving/giving goddess but I just really don't want to give her this particular relationship.  I would be very pleased if she found a man she could talk to or a woman friend of my choosing that she could relate with female to femme/male but not this particular one.  I feel a bit silly. 

sissy thoughts...

I felt like blogging earlier today now I am kind of worn out but Goddess wanted me to blog. I have been feeling very much like a sissy lately, unable to control my feelings the way i used too - even pouting! It is very odd, I like it but I dont... Goddess has been very understanding and even a little happy that my moods are such. She loves that I express myself so much, I used to have such a hard time sharing my feelings. We got me some new lingerie this weekend which i very much liked. A wig too, which looks pretty good on me. Goddess made me up, she thought I looked adorable but I was less happy. I still need to lose 15-20 lbs then maybe my face will be more feminine along with my body.

Goddess has seen a lot of her boyfriend lately, that's what we call her former mind fuck turned almost trophy cock. They text many times a day, every day and see each other several times a week. the sex still isn't where goddess would like it but she loves his thick cock. I met him the other day for the first time, nice guy. She would love for us to play together but she is taking it slow with him. She really likes him a lot. I am OK with it all. I got upset a little the other day but she calmed me down and I am good now. Plus we had a great weekend together that was very reassuring. We have a date to play together with her favorite who now she is calling her trophy cock, he does have a great cock and knows how to use it! Also he likes playing with both of us but Goddess doesn't like him in a text all day, go out for drinks kind of way like her boyfriend. I am looking forward to the playtime! I like him and he enjoys me playing with his cock, he might even put it in my pussy - Goddess wants him too, he said we will see. Exciting but scary as he is very big!

I added the picture as I know Goddess would LOVE this!!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A happy sissy!

Wow a lot has gone on in a week! First off let me say i am one happy sissy!! Goddess has been so good to me and it is apparent that she LOVES making me a sissy! I am happy! the past week has been full of sissy cums by goddess's lovely hand and tongue. She has started to lick my semi-limp boy clitty like a real clit. It cums in a still semi-limp condition with the most wonderful feeling. She also love playing with my smooth shaven boobies! I must also point out now that i am completely shaved now except the hair on my head and my armpits. Goddess loves the smoothness! I do too, I really enjoy my smooth legs. Goddess also loves my "boy pussy" as she calls it. For the first time ever she really enjoys penetrating it, she even fingers it and the other night she put her tongue in it. She has also peed on me recently and made me rub my panty covered clitty on a pillow to get off like she used to do as a little girl. As she does all this her pussy is gushing wet like I have rarely seen.

For her part goddess is very much feeling her part, she loves it - as she tells me daily. Her date last week with the hopeful trophy cock didnt go well. She is out with him again tonight and hoping for a more exciting conclusion. She really likes him and is willing to take whatever he can give including a night of cuddling in bed naked and talking. Tonight she is hoping for a pounding, I am hopeful for her and for my first cream pie! She loves being in charge and having control. She has been very good to me. Last Friday she visited her favorite friend alone again. This time at his house. She had a great time, she always does with him. Later that night she used my pussy and rubbed my clitty to a nice cum.

For my part I love retreating into the sissy role at the end of a long day at work. I may semi retire soon and spend more time at home. Goddess loves me being at home doing chores while she works. I enjoy it and am spending all the time I can doing it. Speaking of time I have not had much time to myself. Goddess and I have a term for my favorite time - sissy time. I love sitting in panties and watching sissy videos like on annamalices site or reading blogs like sissy sarah or sissy wife. They are all on my list of blogs. I have only had a day or so in the last week. i cant complain though as goddess has played with me every night for the last week. We have had more sex lately than anytime I can remember in our marriage. I had to ask her to give my pussy a break. We are going away this weekend I am sure she will be using it then, she said she will stay away until then - I wouldnt mind if she took me tonight! I cant wait to go away this weekend. Alone all weekend in a hotel, out shopping and eating at nice places. Maybe some new lingerie for a sissy!!

Oh I decided the name needed changed, hope that doesnt cause any inconvenience.

Oh and I would love to have another sissy to chat with. If anyone wants to chat I am roberto4539 on yahoo chat.

I will try to add some pictures later.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Goddess has a date...

Goddess's mind fuck, possible trophy cock?

Goddess date tomorrow
Goddess has a date tomorrow night with her "mind fuck". Things heated up during their last date and the "mind fuck" is going for title of "trophy cock". They are getting a hotel room. Since he is married they will only have 3 or 4 hours but needless to say both are very excited. I got to see some of their text conversation and it was very hot. He sent her pics of his cock and a video of himself shooting and she is in heaven. I posted the video and a couple pics with her permission. He is not as long as some she has been with, just over 6 inches. But he is very thick, two inches straight across at the base - twice what I am straight across ( if I remember math right Pi times diameter equals circumfrence so he is over 6 inches around!). Goddess loves thick, more so than long. Also he has had a vasectomy so he will be shooting his loads into her which is a first for us. I can wait to eat my first cream pie tomorrow night. I will not be joining them so it will leak a bit on her way home but much will still be in there I am sure. She is hoping it turns into a regular thing but they are playing it by ear at this point. I hope some day to come in and clean up right after he shoots, a long time fantasy. She would love this as well, the thought of me feeding on her lovers cum thrills her.

At the same time my sissification has progressed. I have shaved my chest and tummy of what little hair I had. I love the smooth feeling. I am going to get laser treatment to permanently remove that hair. Goddess likes it too and has taken to playing with my boobies and sucking my nipples. She also has been taking my ass "pussy" as she calls it - I have to admit I am enjoying her calling my ass a pussy and my little cock a "boy clit". She has given me many sissy cums in my panties by rubbing my boy clit. I have really enjoyed the fucking she has been giving me, I love feeling my boy pussy so full. I miss having a real cock in me. Goddess has given permission for me to have a dominant male lover so if anyone knows a good website to find one let me know. Our swinger site isnt the right place unfortunately. Goddes and I have discussed shaving my legs, she is in favor. I will soon but it is a big step - so much more visible and noticeable in summer. Not sure i am ready, though I want to. Also shaving my facial hair. I am a pretty good looking guy with facial hair - not sure why but it really makes me cuter. if I shave it I will feel more sissy which I want but I will lose some of my male attractiveness which I still enjoy when I am out. I am sure it is coming, goddess says I should lose 10 more punds first, she is probably right but I am anxious.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Some exciting changes....

So a recap of the last week. Tuesday the goddess had a date with her favorite lover. They met in a fairly inconvenient place for a quickie. I suggested next time they just come here, which she liked. At first she was a little worried about the attachment she felt to him but that disappeared over the week. They were supposed to get together again Friday but couldn't make it work. She goes back and forth on him. Loves his cock and likes him but there are some issues...I think. Later in the week she saw a guy she met through work twice. She mentioned him in her post as her 'mind fuck". She is out again with him tonight. That one will be interesting as he really charges her and she wants him bad.

As far as our relationship goes as goddess said I am becoming her 'sissy wife' in addition to my role as cuckold. I had intimated or flat out told her before it is a role I desire so we are trying it on. So far she loves it and of course so do I. My ass has been sore due to the previously mentioned issue I went to the emergency room for but she took me tow or three times this weekend anyway as a honeymoon. I have asked her to stay away from my ass for a week or so so I can recover - odd request for a sissy I know. We also have to figure out a good way for her to take me as the feeldoe isn't working for us. I have had several nice 'sissy cums' as well as entering her and cuming once. I am very happy and feel very loved. I also have a desire to shave more than just the pubic region I shave now. Facial hair, leg hair and the little chest hair I have are on my list to go but i await goddess permission as she weighs the idea. She has had me in panties nightly and tried a silk robe and a nighty on me. I feel very loved and accepted by her. She is my goddess!!!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Goddess takes control

I haven't posted in awhile but feel the need to as we go farther down this road of cukolding.  So many feelings surface - confusion, nervousness, anxiety, that fuels the fire of passion, sexual energy and need to be pleased, worshipped, submitted to, and revered as the powerful, strong goddess I am. 

The last few days have rought emtions pulsing through my entire body.  they literally shoot through my limbs, trunk, abdomen, head, heart, pussy.  I cannot describe it cannot put exact words to it but as I've shared with my cucky a few things have become apparent.  For instance, when I set my sites on another submissive and attempted to seduce him by taking him out on a date my need to dominate was even more obvious, my love for getting worshipped and his attentiveness reminded me of this.  Even though he turned me down, he is very interested in doing anything else but consummate.  I call him my mindfuck because its like fucking my mind which as a powerful goddess, I also need. 

Yesterday my cucky and I talked about the feelings for this other submissive.  I finally embraced the last plea of my favorite submissive to let him be my wife.  To take this to another level.  The amount of energy and wetness that brought in to our time in bed was staggering.  As we rubbed each other and whispered to each other about what I was going to do to him and what he wanted the excitement and closeness was amazingly over the top.  We were going to a work function that I needed an escort for and I wanted to take my wife not my mindfuck.  I told him I wanted to take my wife on a date that night and I wanted her to support me and be the bubbly, friendly wooer of people as we tried to mingle and schmooze for our business' sake.  I told her throughout the night, I wanted her to tell me what a strong, powerful goddess I was.  Then, I would bring her home and dress her in lingerie and fuck her in the ass while I let her rub her clit.  Of course, based on our last post you know why she resisted this.  Instead after a long night and her she doing a wonderful job at being the supportive wife I wanted and told me all throughout the night at various times how sexy, powerful and strong I was I put her panties and held her in bed. 

So today was a whole different type of feeling.  Same pulsating energy but after I was hit on and flattered by a girl friend of ours who would be the perfect femsub type that I want to find some day.  My problem is I've never been with a woman so I am nervous and scared to attempt it.  I don't know the first thing about dominating a woman but desire to very much.  It comes natural with a man and women throughout my entire life have always seemd to want me to dominate them so it should feel natural but does not.  This little gal would be perfect and she also acts like she would throw herself in my arms if I asked.  Freaks my shit out.  The power and strentgh of my sexuality.  I almost fear the monster I could create if I embrace it. 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Link to wife and friend video fixed

Below is the link to the video of my wife with her friend from our hamster page. Sorry the old link didnt work. If anyone can tell me how to embed an xhmaster video instead of just linking I would appreciate it.

my wife with friend from Feb. video

Monday, April 9, 2012

Complete panic....

So first off we have decided to go back to her being the goddess and me the cuckold or at least the submissive hubby for now. Me doming or switching just didn't carry the energy of her being in charge over the long term an we both felt a little lost. We have made some adjustments - for now no real cuckolding for one. Also we are really trying to be casual about her being in charge. She takes it when she wants it, I wear panties pretty much all the time at home but if she doesn't feel like "dommeing" then she doesn't - we just hang out normally. This takes a lot of pressure off her, also I am less needy about being a sub - just relaxing in panties and being ready to submit as she desires. Seems to be working so far. The cuckolding may come back later. I think we would both like to find the right partner for the cuckolding, one who will play along with us. She has no problem finding men to fuck her at all. (BTW I will be adding a video link for her latest session with her favorite) but it is less fulfilling for her if I am not involved. Also we have to fave the reality that her libido isn't what it used to be, thought going back to the femdom seems to bring it back quite a bit.

So this brings us to Saturday morning. Goddess loves Saturday morning sex. Nice and relaxing. Our youngest was sleeping at a friends and our teenager was blissfully asleep in his room. We settled in fro some nice play and we were both enjoying it immensely. I had given her a nice orgasm and she was teasing me and putting a vibrator in my ass. I have to say it felt REALLY good! She was putting me in 7th heaven. I was asking deeper, deeper, begging really. The all the sudden it felt like it slipped out. I reached back and felt for it and asked "where is it"? Then came 3 words that i will never forget."Its inside you". At first I was confused since I was feeling my own closed sphincter - then sheer panic. At this point in fairness to Goddess I have to say in her mind this was not a problem. Whenever she put something in my ass, my ass would push it back out eventually. Of course in my mind I knew this was a problem - sheer panic ensued. I realized it had slipped deep in me, I could feel it buzzing away inside me. "Oh my god, ohh my god, oh my god....." was all I could get out. The look on my face told her something was terribly wrong. It wasnt coming out. I reached for it to no avail, my fingers were bloody. I began to pee myself in panic and desperation reaching for it and trying desperately to push it out. No luck. I got on the toilet and tried some more, nope. At this point we are both near tears. I am one freaked out little sissy and as the president and owner of a business she has never seen me freaked out - now she is panicking. She starts to call 911, I tell her no i dont want our son to see this. She explains to him we will be out for a while - he is still sleeping but wakes up enough for her to tell him, he is high school aged so no biggie being home alone.We hop in the car and head to the emergency room. Now I am passed panic - I am not going to die - but am really not wanting to go through this. We get in the door and the nice old lady asks why we are there. I tell her quite plainly "I have a vibrator stuck in my ass". I could have said it differently I suppose but there it was. Thankfully from then on NO ONE asked us why we were there. I saw probably 12 different health care workers that day. Nurses, xray techs, doctors, interns....and everyone knew why I was there. There were 2 unsuccessful attempts to get it out - one with me bent over a bench, no pain killers my ass being stretched by a doctor with 3 people in the room. Yah I have had fantasies like that but this didn't live up to any of them - it was brutal. The nurse apologized after that attempt. Finally I ended up in an OR completely out and had it removed. When I went under I was not sure if they could get it out without cutting me open - 50/50 I was told - but thankfully they did, no knife. But man is my ass sore - still. They told us the vibrator died in surgery but I had no plans on seeing that thing again - no matter how much joy it had brought me over the years.

So Rich, I felt your pain when you posted last week. I hope this makes you feel a little better.

Here is Goddess latest video.

 Sorry the pics have little to do with the story, I just liked them!

Friday, March 16, 2012


 Well i have to say I didnt see this one coming. Odd for me as I could have predicted just about everything in our sex life til now. She decided the cuckold thing wasnt working fro her. She didnt like me being submissive all the time. Honestly I was feeling neglected by the end due to her not wanting to domme me. I am happy to report I never did have any serious jealousy issues, our biggest worry i think. And she didnt lose respect for me at all.

So now what? Well we are giving her what she wants, I am doming her. We have had lots of fun with it, I love teasing her and she loves it. i may involve some of her old lovers in it, if she is a good girl. I may also get some other women involved, hmm... this could work. Honestly my biggest fear about doming her was my lack of penis size and ability tom last. What I am finding out is the mind fuck, and the liberal use of fingers and toys does just fine. In fact she is loving this and horny as ever. She took a butt plug for the first time and wants to again..soon! I made her lick my ass, which she doesn't like but did a fine job of. I ahve used the crop pretty hard on her ass and she liked it. She also likes me to slap her, though I dont so it hard. Being called a slut just makes her so wet. And I tell her about pimping her out to men in bars or making her give blow jobs in an adult theatre - wow she goes crazy. I fucked her from behind the other night then stopped pulled out and made her lick off her own juices. Tonight I was going to fuck her and make her clean me after I came in her. Thats definitely still on tap for another time. Alas she fell asleep. I could have used her in her sleep, she loves that but decided blogging and some porn sounded nice..back to my old self already I think.

 I miss the ability to be a sissy with all it entailed. But I am enjoying this and my chance to be a sissy will be back some day I think. There is a bbw I met that i think is sexy and like to flirt with, for some reason wifey is feeling jealous - usually she would not, she even encouraged it several times. I do like bbws! And I will be posting the video soon, it runs a little over 10 minutes. Wish I knew how to embed a video from a thumb drive, if anyone can tell me please do. I am a very low tech person..sigh....