sissy play time

I played with a man a couple of weeks ago. It was the first time in a long time I have played alone with a man. He is new, we have been texting but had not met. Goddess was with me when he came over. She met him and talked. She had me remove my clothes revealing stockings and a thong. I knelt and took his cock out. I sucked him in front of her for a few minutes. She enjoyed watching and gave him a kiss but otherwise just watched. Then she left and I brought him to our bedroom. We played on the bed, he wanted to have me in our marital bed. I sucked him off and he came in my mouth. I swallowed of course like a good sissy. His cock was 7 inches or so, nice not huge. We relaxed then went at it again, kissing and him fingering me. He made me cum, I was not yet back in my cage. He wasnt supposed to but he wanted to so he did. It wasnt a big orgasm more of a ruined leaking one, frustrating for me - which I think he also wanted. I sucked him again and swallowed another load. He left feeling very satiated. Next time he will fuck me but I wasnt ready for it yet.

The cage arrived back after its adjustment. I am in it now for a few days. I miss being able to touch my penis. I love rubbing it in my panties or feeling her rub it or just feeling it rub against her at night. As she often says it is useless in pleasing her but I love being rubbed - very selfish of me. I am working on being a generous sissy, giving of affection and worship, showing goddess the attention she deserves, the cage helps me learn. Godees has told me I can have a spontaneous cum again if I like but it is very hard to do and most times I try i end up with no cum and even more horny and desperate - maybe she knows this which is why she leaves that for me. Or maybe she just loves the thought of me being so desperate that I can cum that way, my poor little penis lacking any real contact just oozing out cum in such a pathetic way. Losing the ability to cum when I want to is very hard for me, it was one thing I enjoyed my whole life since 12. Now I not only gave that up but even the ability to touch my own little penis. Its a sacrifice she demands and so I will be obedient, I love her so much! And oddly or understandably I am happier being her sissy than I have ever been trying to be anything else.

Spontaneous ejaculation

So I have been caged by goddess for a while now, with days out of it for good behavior. I am allowed to look at porn. I was home one afternoon looking at porn i had been in my cage for sometime. I got a tingly feeling in my balls like an orgasm was nearing. Goddess texted and told me to go ahead and cum inside my cage. It was really quite amazing in a way. No shaking the cage or vibrating the cage just looking at porn, thinking of her, feeling very much a sissy and it built to the point of no return. The video above is a snippet of the video I made for goddess, part of her text required this. When it happened it was almost like peeing at first, just cum oozing out then a kind of intense feeling of my balls contracting but really not much of an orgasm, not much relief and not the joyous crescendo of a yummy orgasm, Just a kind of pressure release valve triggered and an oozing of cum. I was still horny for sure. It happened once again since. I worry now that goddess knows this is possible how long will she extend my days being caged?

update....

Goddess and I have been much the same recently. She hasnt played since the last post, she doesnt seem to be much interested in that. We have been focusing on us, making sure we are both happy in our relationship. We have come to a place of accepting that a FLR is what we both want. I was surprised a bit when I found out how much she values being goddess. I guess I always felt she was doing this for me, making things work for us given my limitations and wants. And I suppose maybe it was that way in the beginning. At this point she has grown to value this relationship, her being in charge, me being her submissive sissy. In fact we drafted up the beginnings of a contract. It was overdue to be done and we both knew that. We have some non-negotiable items that she requires of me as well as a list of expectations for my behavior. I think it brought some real clarity and meaning for both of us. She seems very happy with it.  


I ordered a chastity device on Goddess orders, it is similar to the one pictured. Goddess seems to really enjoy the idea of keeping me locked. I will update when it arrives. I am excited but very worried, I know I will miss the ability to touch and rub my little penis in my panties. Goddess expects me to blog weekly according to her list of expectations, so if anyone is still reading this blog it will become much more active.

switching

 Well i have to say I didnt see this one coming. Odd for me as I could have predicted just about everything in our sex life til now. She decided the cuckold thing wasnt working fro her. She didnt like me being submissive all the time. Honestly I was feeling neglected by the end due to her not wanting to domme me. I am happy to report I never did have any serious jealousy issues, our biggest worry i think. And she didnt lose respect for me at all.

So now what? Well we are giving her what she wants, I am doming her. We have had lots of fun with it, I love teasing her and she loves it. i may involve some of her old lovers in it, if she is a good girl. I may also get some other women involved, hmm... this could work. Honestly my biggest fear about doming her was my lack of penis size and ability tom last. What I am finding out is the mind fuck, and the liberal use of fingers and toys does just fine. In fact she is loving this and horny as ever. She took a butt plug for the first time and wants to again..soon! I made her lick my ass, which she doesn't like but did a fine job of. I ahve used the crop pretty hard on her ass and she liked it. She also likes me to slap her, though I dont so it hard. Being called a slut just makes her so wet. And I tell her about pimping her out to men in bars or making her give blow jobs in an adult theatre - wow she goes crazy. I fucked her from behind the other night then stopped pulled out and made her lick off her own juices. Tonight I was going to fuck her and make her clean me after I came in her. Thats definitely still on tap for another time. Alas she fell asleep. I could have used her in her sleep, she loves that but decided blogging and some porn sounded nice..back to my old self already I think.

 I miss the ability to be a sissy with all it entailed. But I am enjoying this and my chance to be a sissy will be back some day I think. There is a bbw I met that i think is sexy and like to flirt with, for some reason wifey is feeling jealous - usually she would not, she even encouraged it several times. I do like bbws! And I will be posting the video soon, it runs a little over 10 minutes. Wish I knew how to embed a video from a thumb drive, if anyone can tell me please do. I am a very low tech person..sigh....

Serving the wife

Last night we had our first mutually enjoyable experience of me serving her, just serving her not sexual play. Well it did lead to two orgasms for her but it was really just about me serving. It started with her picking out some panties for me to wear. Not my favorite pair but i was turned on putting them on anyway. Then we went downstairs to watch some TV. i rubbed her back with lotion and massaged her. I rubbed her breasts with some lotion as well at her request. She is on her period so i was suprised when she told me to rub her clit. I did as instructed, she was wet with more than just blood! For the first time she was really getting off on me serving her. I felt really happy about that. She then made me suck on her lotioned breasts as I rubbed her. it tasted awful, which she knew, but I did as I was told like a good boy. She had a very nice orgasm. I rubbed her feet and gave her some more massaging then it was off to bed. I was sure the night was over as she tires easily when on her period but to my suprise she had me rub her off again. She told me what a good boy I was and how much she loved me as I rubbed her and sucked her nipples. She came hard, very hard. She smiled at me and took me inside her. I came very quickly. I tried to continue after coming, as I somtimes can do for some time, even cumming again on occaision. But alas I went soft quickly. As I lay there I thought about why I went soft so quickly. Many reasons came to mind but one suprised me. I really wanted her to leave me hard and wanting. I wanted to be left wanting her, in a constant state of arousal. Why would I prefer denial over staisfaction?? Not sure I know the answer but the desire is unquestionably real.