a new level of humiliation

Weekend before last we were in a city a few hours away celebrating valentines day. We stayed in a nice hotel and had a very nice time Friday night with a yummy seafood dinner. It was fun and kind of romantic. Saturday night we were heading out to our favorite restaurant in the city. I was unlocked and feeling good, we were feeling romantic and loving. We went to the hotel bar before heading out to dinner. Goddess met a cute guy and the 3 of us chatted. We were in a couch type area and eventually another couple joined us. Goddess full attention was on the single man as I chatted with the couple. I was feeling kind of sheepish at this point as goddess was obviously very into the guy and I am pretty sure everyone there knew it. I was glad as we got up to leave, we were heading to a bar before dinner. Goddess gave the man her number telling him to text her if he had time to stop by the bar before we left for dinner. At this point again I am glad we are leaving, I do enjoy her being with other men, it turns me on but in this case her affection towards this guy was both emasculating and humiliating being our celebration night and in front of this other couple. We got to the bar and it was a fun live music steak dinner kind of place. We were really enjoying it when the guy showed up and had brought the couple with him. At this point I am still thinking we are heading to dinner soon, so I am not as concerned. We all sit again in a couch type place and again she is siting next to and chatting with the guy. At some point she suggests "hey lets just all eat here". So I call the restaurant and cancel our week old reservation at our favorite restaurant. We had already told them all this was our celebration for valentines at this great restaurant. At this point I was completely humiliated and goddess was all in. She sat next to him at dinner leaving the seat next to me empty. She spent her time chatting with him, giving him her full attention. One person at the restaurant mistook him for her husband and she enjoyed it. Actually anyone not in our group probably assumed they were together. Eventually they got up and danced. Goddess very much enjoyed this, the public display of her power and his attention. When the band stopped we all left and went to another bar. I offered to head to the hotel and wait for her but she wanted me to come along. It continued at the new bar though they decided not to dance they chatted happily and enjoyed each other. Eventually around 130 I offered that it might be time to call it a night and they agreed. We walked and they talked eventually parting reluctantly. He was too shy and she too unsure to ask him up or her to his place. So we headed up to the room. We snuggled and fell asleep quickly. I was glad to be holding her, at last she was mine again.

This is me in my new tag, it was a valentines present to goddess. I call her mommy most of the time, it is an affectionate way of recognizing her dominance. It is currently away being adjusted. When it returns I expect it will be part of me for much of my time.

Spontaneous ejaculation

So I have been caged by goddess for a while now, with days out of it for good behavior. I am allowed to look at porn. I was home one afternoon looking at porn i had been in my cage for sometime. I got a tingly feeling in my balls like an orgasm was nearing. Goddess texted and told me to go ahead and cum inside my cage. It was really quite amazing in a way. No shaking the cage or vibrating the cage just looking at porn, thinking of her, feeling very much a sissy and it built to the point of no return. The video above is a snippet of the video I made for goddess, part of her text required this. When it happened it was almost like peeing at first, just cum oozing out then a kind of intense feeling of my balls contracting but really not much of an orgasm, not much relief and not the joyous crescendo of a yummy orgasm, Just a kind of pressure release valve triggered and an oozing of cum. I was still horny for sure. It happened once again since. I worry now that goddess knows this is possible how long will she extend my days being caged?

update....

Goddess and I have been much the same recently. She hasnt played since the last post, she doesnt seem to be much interested in that. We have been focusing on us, making sure we are both happy in our relationship. We have come to a place of accepting that a FLR is what we both want. I was surprised a bit when I found out how much she values being goddess. I guess I always felt she was doing this for me, making things work for us given my limitations and wants. And I suppose maybe it was that way in the beginning. At this point she has grown to value this relationship, her being in charge, me being her submissive sissy. In fact we drafted up the beginnings of a contract. It was overdue to be done and we both knew that. We have some non-negotiable items that she requires of me as well as a list of expectations for my behavior. I think it brought some real clarity and meaning for both of us. She seems very happy with it.  


I ordered a chastity device on Goddess orders, it is similar to the one pictured. Goddess seems to really enjoy the idea of keeping me locked. I will update when it arrives. I am excited but very worried, I know I will miss the ability to touch and rub my little penis in my panties. Goddess expects me to blog weekly according to her list of expectations, so if anyone is still reading this blog it will become much more active.

thinking of cuckolding

I have been thinking a lot lately about being a cuckold. I am not really now and dont like all the implications of being one but it does intrigue me. I love watching my wife with other men, I love when she mentions other men, i love being her servant, i love talking about other men as we play or fantasizing about her and another man as we fuck. I love the fantasy of her deciding at a moments notice she is going to fuck some other man or her coming home one day and telling me she did. I love her teasing me and making me give her "permission" to see another man by withholding my orgasm. I am just not sure I want to make it all real. I am also not sure she wants to make it all real, which is good. For now it remains a powerful fantasy we/I use often. Who knows where the future leads.

One thing I do love very much is her domming me! damn she is sexy when she makes me serve her. I love it. It gets me so hot, I cum so fast. It is almost like part of the game to cum fast when she dommes me. She has just started to embrace it and she is very good at it. It brings a whole new level of excitement for me.