This blog relates the real life adventures of a married couple in their 30's. We are happily married for more than 10 years and have chosen to open our marriage up to new sexual realities, including cuckolding, sissification and a wife led marriage. All while loving each other more each day. If this is not your thing it's OK but this may not be the place for you. If you enjoy it please feel free to leave a comment. If you have questions please leave those as well. It is written by both Goddess and sissy - sharing all our thoughts and feelings regarding the journey. All the pictures on here are taken by me or found on the web. If I found it on the web I assumed it was part of the public domain. If you see a picture that is yours and want it removed please let me know and I will remove it.

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Friday, August 11, 2017

My Humiliation

According to Webmd ( my penis is borderline micro penis, a medical condition affecting less than 1% of U.S. males. I am at 3.75 inches of stretched penis length, explained in the article. At 3.66 inches or less I would be considered a micro penis. I am .09 inches from being medically termed a micro penis. For reference .09 of an inch is slightly less than the thickness of two pennies stacked on top of each other. I wish I could say my girth makes up for some shortness but it doesn't. At 4 inches of erect girth I am nearly an inch below average there as well.

Despite this fact Goddess still enjoys my penis getting erect at times. Last week she mentioned a few times she would like seeing me erect. I am often not erect, even when aroused my penis tends to like hiding in my panties limp and unexposed. I did get erect a few times during the week. She seemed pleased about this, she even complimented the head of my penis when erect. I was feeling kind of manly and was looking forward to a chance to reclaim my manhood by fucking her. On Saturday morning we laid in bed and played. I got erect and she allowed me to enter her doggy style. It felt amazing, her pussy was so wet and smooth like velvet yet very tight, luckily for me or because of me perhaps. Anyway it felt like heaven. I tried my best to give her a good fuck, thrusting away then pausing trying not to cum.  In that instant I tried to reclaim my place as husband and feel manly, it felt like I would imagine a heroin high, that false sense of reality you slip into as you become enveloped in the sensation and imagine you can fly or are flying. It lasted a few minutes. I then realized Goddess was not enjoying it, came back to reality and my energy drained as I released a smaller than average spurt of cum into her amazing pussy. I had lasted in reality maybe 3 minutes from entering her to cumming - in my defense it had been a week since I was allowed to cum and weeks since I had been inside her. The end result was disappointing for her and humiliating for me in a way that few men could understand. She teased me about it the rest of the day and weekend, enjoying my humiliation. I was crushed and put back in my place - a full blown sissy as she calls it. I went into the week feeling small, awkward around women. I was fine in other ways, being strong and confident in business. Thankfully I am able to be good at business through all this. It is something I excel at and she likes seeing me perform in that way. I embrace the business arena as a place I get to feel on par with other men. I am good at it. Anyway Goddess told me I needed to blog about this past weekends experience. She enjoys me sharing my humiliation, taking my humiliation even further.

Goddess also asked me to find blogs or sites dedicated to women who love small penises. I found two predominant things when I googled - articles about how women can still enjoy/love a man despite his small penis and blogs of women who enjoy dominating men with small penises. There were a few articles I found (or comments of those mentioned in articles) of women who actually prefer small penises - they perform cunnilingus better, kiss better, are easy to deep throat, don't hurt when they "pound" me etc...were typical of these. But no full sites or blogs. There were a few gay men's sites about loving small penises. There are as far as I can tell (shockingly) no sites dedicated to women who love small penis men. There were also quite a few articles about women who dump, make fun of or just avoid like the plague any man with a small penis of course.

On the update side of things, Goddess will be seeing the Bull again soon. She is very much looking forward to it and has a new found appreciation and desire for him. The last visit went very well, he is a kind patient lover who is very skilled and has an amazing cock. The "vanilla" guy is still around, no sex but some playful texting but Goddess has mostly cooled on him. Not sure if she will play with him again or not but he is in her social circle so we will see.

Monday, July 31, 2017

The return of the Bull

So as I wrote last goddess has been chasing a married guy. We call this vanilla play as he isn't part of "the lifestyle" just a normal guy cheating on his wife with her. Well she has as I said developed some feelings for him. But he has become a disappointment. So she was pretty down and hurt by his actions and inability to give her what she needs.

Then she reconnected with her Bull last week. He had never really left, she just hadn't gotten together with him in some time. She visited him and they had a wonderful morning. He texted me on her way up to see him. He was humiliating me in the way he enjoys. I was feeling very small and of course humiliated, he knows just what to say. My little pee pee was shriveled up in my panties as he texted but tingling like it was ready to explode. After she arrived they texted several pictures. Her sucking his big cock, them touching, his cock sliding inside her and his cum shot all over her boobs and tummy. There was a video of this I saw later, as he came she was telling him she wished it was filling her pussy. The pictures made me feel many things. Jealous, humiliated, excited for her, happy for him, excited by his cock and wishing I was there to watch him fuck her.

Later that night we got together and were able to play and discuss it all. She told me about reading the texts he sent me after she got there. She loved the way he humiliated me. She loved being with him again. He is a wonderful lover. He is patient, treats her with respect and gives her the best fuckings she has had maybe ever. He has a very nice thick cock and she loves the way it feels. He was gentle with her because he knew she hadn't had a cock like that in a long time. She was grateful for that. I rubbed my little penis against her leg as we talked and was allowed to cum that way. It felt great in a very humiliating way.

So one other thing she discovered thru all this. She loves the emotion of vanilla play, seducing"regular" guys. She loves the emotion of it. Feeling that "puppy love", getting to know them, hoping they like her, etc.... Like dating. She misses parts of it but it also has its down side. People dont always work out and in these types of relationships it is even harder. But she loves the adrenaline of the build up and especially the chase.

The Bull is less complicated but there isn't the "dating" quality to it. I imagine she will see him more, she really was reminded of why she goes back to him. He is good for her in many ways. But the emotion of the vanilla will I am sure seduce her again and there will be another lover.

I will attempt to post some pictures later. There are some really good ones.

Friday, June 30, 2017

Careful what you wish for.....

So things here had gotten pretty dry again sexually speaking. I had a guy I played a little with which helped but she was dry. Well recently she met someone. A guy in her circle of work friends. She Went after him and seduced him. He is married but she got him. They have played a few times but only fucked once. He has a nice cock, she really likes him sexually. As is the case in vanilla affairs it is complicated but she really likes him. They went out several times as friends before she got him to play. They have lots of passionate kissing when ever they go out but he is cautious so they haven't played a lot. She loves the passion and she is developing feelings for him.

Of course this all is very exciting but also causes a whole lot of angst. Vanilla always makes me more jealous but I know it's what she craves. I miss our bull, I miss sucking him, watching him fuck her. I have thought of him a lot. He texts her still and I think she would like being with him again but not soon enough for me. I want his cock in my mouth again! He is very sexy and manly. Now that I don't have a guy play friend I really wish he was closer and more interested in me pleasuring him. Of course him fucking me would be heaven but I don't think he will go that far.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

sissy play time

I played with a man a couple of weeks ago. It was the first time in a long time I have played alone with a man. He is new, we have been texting but had not met. Goddess was with me when he came over. She met him and talked. She had me remove my clothes revealing stockings and a thong. I knelt and took his cock out. I sucked him in front of her for a few minutes. She enjoyed watching and gave him a kiss but otherwise just watched. Then she left and I brought him to our bedroom. We played on the bed, he wanted to have me in our marital bed. I sucked him off and he came in my mouth. I swallowed of course like a good sissy. His cock was 7 inches or so, nice not huge. We relaxed then went at it again, kissing and him fingering me. He made me cum, I was not yet back in my cage. He wasnt supposed to but he wanted to so he did. It wasnt a big orgasm more of a ruined leaking one, frustrating for me - which I think he also wanted. I sucked him again and swallowed another load. He left feeling very satiated. Next time he will fuck me but I wasnt ready for it yet.

The cage arrived back after its adjustment. I am in it now for a few days. I miss being able to touch my penis. I love rubbing it in my panties or feeling her rub it or just feeling it rub against her at night. As she often says it is useless in pleasing her but I love being rubbed - very selfish of me. I am working on being a generous sissy, giving of affection and worship, showing goddess the attention she deserves, the cage helps me learn. Godees has told me I can have a spontaneous cum again if I like but it is very hard to do and most times I try i end up with no cum and even more horny and desperate - maybe she knows this which is why she leaves that for me. Or maybe she just loves the thought of me being so desperate that I can cum that way, my poor little penis lacking any real contact just oozing out cum in such a pathetic way. Losing the ability to cum when I want to is very hard for me, it was one thing I enjoyed my whole life since 12. Now I not only gave that up but even the ability to touch my own little penis. Its a sacrifice she demands and so I will be obedient, I love her so much! And oddly or understandably I am happier being her sissy than I have ever been trying to be anything else.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

a new level of humiliation

Weekend before last we were in a city a few hours away celebrating valentines day. We stayed in a nice hotel and had a very nice time Friday night with a yummy seafood dinner. It was fun and kind of romantic. Saturday night we were heading out to our favorite restaurant in the city. I was unlocked and feeling good, we were feeling romantic and loving. We went to the hotel bar before heading out to dinner. Goddess met a cute guy and the 3 of us chatted. We were in a couch type area and eventually another couple joined us. Goddess full attention was on the single man as I chatted with the couple. I was feeling kind of sheepish at this point as goddess was obviously very into the guy and I am pretty sure everyone there knew it. I was glad as we got up to leave, we were heading to a bar before dinner. Goddess gave the man her number telling him to text her if he had time to stop by the bar before we left for dinner. At this point again I am glad we are leaving, I do enjoy her being with other men, it turns me on but in this case her affection towards this guy was both emasculating and humiliating being our celebration night and in front of this other couple. We got to the bar and it was a fun live music steak dinner kind of place. We were really enjoying it when the guy showed up and had brought the couple with him. At this point I am still thinking we are heading to dinner soon, so I am not as concerned. We all sit again in a couch type place and again she is siting next to and chatting with the guy. At some point she suggests "hey lets just all eat here". So I call the restaurant and cancel our week old reservation at our favorite restaurant. We had already told them all this was our celebration for valentines at this great restaurant. At this point I was completely humiliated and goddess was all in. She sat next to him at dinner leaving the seat next to me empty. She spent her time chatting with him, giving him her full attention. One person at the restaurant mistook him for her husband and she enjoyed it. Actually anyone not in our group probably assumed they were together. Eventually they got up and danced. Goddess very much enjoyed this, the public display of her power and his attention. When the band stopped we all left and went to another bar. I offered to head to the hotel and wait for her but she wanted me to come along. It continued at the new bar though they decided not to dance they chatted happily and enjoyed each other. Eventually around 130 I offered that it might be time to call it a night and they agreed. We walked and they talked eventually parting reluctantly. He was too shy and she too unsure to ask him up or her to his place. So we headed up to the room. We snuggled and fell asleep quickly. I was glad to be holding her, at last she was mine again.

This is me in my new tag, it was a valentines present to goddess. I call her mommy most of the time, it is an affectionate way of recognizing her dominance. It is currently away being adjusted. When it returns I expect it will be part of me for much of my time.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

chastity, pleasuring and realizations

Last night I pleasured goddess all night with my fingers and tongue. She was mostly subdued like she was getting a back rub, she didn't cum. She just layed back enjoying hours of me licking her ass hole, pushing my face deep in her cheeks as she reclined on her side snacking and binge watching her favorite show. Or sucking a boob and rubbing her pussy as she layed straight back and watched her show snacking and drinking. She payed little attention to me sexually or made any noise like a woman in sexual bliss, save the occasional sigh of enjoyment. She spoke to me in loving terms and treated me quite normally. Truth is I think the sexual turn on and sexual need is very much second to the power and worship she felt from my attention. It has become clear, to both of us I think, she is very much enjoying her sense of power control and my need for her. This gets her wet and makes her desire my attention. She isnt like the stories you read, she isnt craving big cocks or actual sex, though I think she is thinking more about it than before. What she does really enjoy is my need, my humiliation and making me crazy with desire for her. At the end of the night she would not let me rub my pantied little penis against her sexy booty and cum as she lay there drifting off. Instead when she new I was close she rolled away and told me I had to do it myself. I had not cum in a week so I was grateful for any release at all. She is upset I haven't been in my cage this week due to a health issue. So I rubbed myself off while she called me her poor anxious little sissy and giggled. I came in my panties. The cage goes back on Sunday night with no definite release date. I have a feeling this one will last longer than a week. 

Goddess wants me to get a tag for my cage like the one below. Mommy is my pet name for her when she is being soft and loving, like last night.

Spontaneous ejaculation

So I have been caged by goddess for a while now, with days out of it for good behavior. I am allowed to look at porn. I was home one afternoon looking at porn i had been in my cage for sometime. I got a tingly feeling in my balls like an orgasm was nearing. Goddess texted and told me to go ahead and cum inside my cage. It was really quite amazing in a way. No shaking the cage or vibrating the cage just looking at porn, thinking of her, feeling very much a sissy and it built to the point of no return. The video above is a snippet of the video I made for goddess, part of her text required this. When it happened it was almost like peeing at first, just cum oozing out then a kind of intense feeling of my balls contracting but really not much of an orgasm, not much relief and not the joyous crescendo of a yummy orgasm, Just a kind of pressure release valve triggered and an oozing of cum. I was still horny for sure. It happened once again since. I worry now that goddess knows this is possible how long will she extend my days being caged?