This blog relates the real life adventures of a married couple in their 30's. We are happily married for more than 10 years and have chosen to open our marriage up to new sexual realities, including cuckolding, sissification and a wife led marriage. All while loving each other more each day. If this is not your thing it's OK but this may not be the place for you. If you enjoy it please feel free to leave a comment. If you have questions please leave those as well. It is written by both Goddess and sissy - sharing all our thoughts and feelings regarding the journey. All the pictures on here are taken by me or found on the web. If I found it on the web I assumed it was part of the public domain. If you see a picture that is yours and want it removed please let me know and I will remove it.

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Thanks for stopping by!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017


Goddess and I have been much the same recently. She hasnt played since the last post, she doesnt seem to be much interested in that. We have been focusing on us, making sure we are both happy in our relationship. We have come to a place of accepting that a FLR is what we both want. I was surprised a bit when I found out how much she values being goddess. I guess I always felt she was doing this for me, making things work for us given my limitations and wants. And I suppose maybe it was that way in the beginning. At this point she has grown to value this relationship, her being in charge, me being her submissive sissy. In fact we drafted up the beginnings of a contract. It was overdue to be done and we both knew that. We have some non-negotiable items that she requires of me as well as a list of expectations for my behavior. I think it brought some real clarity and meaning for both of us. She seems very happy with it.  

I ordered a chastity device on Goddess orders, it is similar to the one pictured. Goddess seems to really enjoy the idea of keeping me locked. I will update when it arrives. I am excited but very worried, I know I will miss the ability to touch and rub my little penis in my panties. Goddess expects me to blog weekly according to her list of expectations, so if anyone is still reading this blog it will become much more active.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Another night with the Bull.....

Goddess spent the night with her Bull the other night. I was home, watching the kids. She met him at a hotel, had drinks then went up to the room he selected for the night. She had not seen him since the last post, she hadn't seen anyone. So it was quite a dry spell for her. When they got to the room they kissed and undressed. He brought a toy he wanted to use on her and she had brought a vibrator. They played for quite a while from the sound of it. He got her very wet and ready, as you can see from the picture she texted me.

Then he began to fuck her. At some point they decided to call me while he fucked her. She told me how big he felt inside her, how deep he was going. Then she couldn't talk anymore, he had sped up and was pounding her. I could hear him slapping against her and hear her incoherent moaning. Then he spoke, he reminded me how inferior I was, how impotent. He told me how well he was fucking her. That I could never do that. He made me agree to each of these things as he said them. She heard him too and my responses. She told me later she loved it. She loved hearing him talk to me that way, calling me a sissy and demeaning me, humiliating me in front of her. Showing his power and my weakness. Then he hung up. Then she sent me the picture below. His big manly cock having shot his load onto her very sexy pussy. She took a video of it we watched later that night in bed. I wanted to eat that cum so badly as I watched it squirt. She moaned as it splattered her pussy.

They talked, kissed, played and eventually fucked again. This time she texted me and told me not to answer. He left me a voicemail. I have listened to it many times since that night.

"I am fucking the goddess again, I'm fucking her because you can't. She is begging me to fuck her harder. I ask if I am too deep and she says deeper. I ask if it's hard enough and she asks for harder. She says fuck me because (my name) can't fuck me". At this point I can hear her echo his words about me not being able to fuck her. Followed by a really loud long moan by her and some words I can't hear. She gets very loud and I can hear him pounding her. Then his voice is back. "This is how you should be fucking her" and her screaming "yes!". "This is how she sounds when she is being fucked by a real man with a real cock". She is now screaming "Yes!" and "Oh God" and things I can't hear. Then he hangs up. He is right, she has never sounded like that when I have fucked her. The reason is the pic below and no it doesn't grow much from there. Fully hard I am about 4 inches.

To clarify, she has with other men acted things out for all our entertainment. I didn't need to ask, I could tell from listening but later she did confirm it was real. She didn't even recall what she had said, she was in a daze of enjoyment. They were together, alone, for over 5 hrs. She has never spent that much time alone with another man. I knew at some point of course that could change, that she might even spend the night with a man. But it was still a first and further cause for jealousy and feeling inferior. The whole thing was so humiliating, so emasculating - I almost came without touching myself from the feelings. It was intense. I love her as much as I can ever remember. And I want to suck his cock more than I have wanted to suck anyone in a long time. And yes Mr. Bull, I do feel pathetic.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016


Once again I apologize for the long time between posts. Not much has changed really. We are in a sort of holding pattern when it comes to anyone outside playing with us. We have not played with anyone since our bull  which i wrote about. Goddess got very busy in her business. She enjoys her career very much, as stressful as it is. She loves being in charge, running a company - it fulfills her. If I am truly second to anyone or thing it is to her company. We all are at times. But I get it, I was once in the same place - the only difference being I am type B she is type A so she is more intense about it and driven then I was. I do want her to enjoy what she is doing, to be able to live out that desire the same as I have always enjoyed watching her fulfill other desires. Plus I am grateful as she is know the breadwinner. My place is now second to her in all things.

We have entered a new place in our relationship. She has found that she enjoys whipping me. She whips me several times a week. It begins with me laying face down on our bed with my panties or gay boy undies pulled down to my knees. I lay and wait, sometimes for quite a while - she likes to make me anticipate the coming pain. She uses a crop with a longish barrel connecting the leather end. Her favorite is to use the barrel like a cane, leaving a deep red stripe across my ass cheeks which are very white. She makes several each whipping, sometimes as many as 6 or 7. The worst ones last for days and have a welt the length of the stripe. She loves making me whimper, almost cry. She asks me if I am enjoying it and I whimper out a no, almost crying most times. She loves hearing me tell her I don't like it, it hurts. When she is done she rubs lotion into my cheeks and I tell her how much I love her, sometimes she holds me as the pain subsides.

She has had the opportunity to play many times with lovers. We ran into one at a restaurant the other night. she flirted with him discreetly they may have done more when they were out of my sight.  After he left he texted her relentlessly the rest of the night begging for her to come over. She didnt but she enjoyed the attention. She loves attention and flattery. Her favorite lovers pursue her, they flatter and email and text. She loves that. Even the bull has pursued some. She enjoys his emails very much. When she is ready to play again I am sure it will be him. He is very sexy and manly. I text him sometimes. He enjoys humiliating me and hearing what we are up to. I enjoy his humiliation and attention. I would message him more but since goddess isnt playing I dont want to bug him. And I am not totally sure what he wants to hear from me when we do message. I rub and edge thinking about him sometimes, his big thick cock, I cant wait to suck it again. He wants me to do more humiliating things to him in front of goddess. I want to please him so I will do them all gladly including eating his manly cum loads off goddess. I would gladly serve him as I have her other lovers, alone to keep him satisfied but he doesn't seem to want that. I know goddess would like hearing how I served him too, that is a favorite of hers.

As for me I have not played either. I think she would be OK with it if my regular man was available but sadly he hasnt responded to my texts lately. I would really love to suck a cock again and more, much more. I havent had a cock in my ass in a long time so I would definitely need to stretch if I did have the chance again. For now I just watch my sissy videos and dream...

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Our first Bull

First I apologize to our bull, he expected this done sooner I think and I have been tardy.

Going back a little over a week ago we met the new bull, the one who wrote the letter I posted, for a drink. We sat in a quiet little bar in a booth. One thing that really mattered would be goddess' first impression. It was favorable, she found him attractive - tall, manly with a handsome face. She also liked his mannerisms, he was easy to speak with and pleasant, he was direct and forceful but not pushy, he was gentlemanly but also very obvious and direct in his desire for her - she loved that. And she loved that he was seductive in front of me, wooing her in front of her sissy hubby. They talked and laughed, I joined in at times but mostly watched. He eventually rubbed her pussy under her dress as we sat in the booth. She opened her legs willingly for him and showed him her bare pussy. She put her hand on his cock and rubbed it through his pants. The night was cut shorter than both wanted as we had to get back for a sitter. On the way out she exposed her breast to him on command and he sucked it in the doorway. Plans were quickly made to meet again. That night she allowed me to enter her and cum inside her pussy. As is the case now it didn't last long and she didn't receive any real physical pleasure.

We ended up meeting for play the following week, last week. It was mid week so it wouldn't be able to be a long play time as we would have to get back for a sitter. We pulled up front and valet parked. We walked in without luggage or a reservation and requested a room for the night. Goddess loved it, we looked carefree and mysterious, we told the valet we would be back for the car before morning. She looked so hot. I am sure they thought us lovers in for a rendezvous, part of me wished it the case - to be her lover, the one who would make her feel like a woman, make her feel alive and passionate. She knew the truth and loved it being her secret - this handsome man wasn't her lover but her sissy, under her spell, her control. Her lover would be joining her soon enough. It was a nice powerful end to a stressful day for her. My stressful day would wind down with complete submission and humiliation.

He came into the room shortly later, I was drinking my scotch with the thirst of a sissy knowing things would be soon out of his control. Goddess sat easily sipping water, she had had one drink already and was in just the right mood. They greeted and soon were kissing hungrily. Goddess described him later to me as a very good kisser. He began removing her clothes and stood her in front of me. He kissed her on the back of the neck and fondled her, squeezing her breasts in his big manly hands. She loves having a man behind her like this, it is a big favorite, she was putty in his hands. The kissing on the back of the neck is one of her buttons, she purred. She looked at me, she smiled, she looked content, strong, superior, happy. We all knew our place in this moment. She liked showing me mine. As did he. He rubbed her pussy and made me taste the juices on his fingers. She reached back and rubbed his cock and moaned lightly as he humiliated me with words, telling me what he would soon be doing to her. He had me strip to my panties as he showed me my place. At some point his cock was out, it was magnificent. It is very thick and over 7 inches long. I sucked it on command, I loved it and hated that I loved it so much. I wanted to pleasure him, pleasure that amazing sexy cock. I wanted to taste his cum. I sucked greedily. They kissed as I sucked him, they made fun of me and laughed, he fondled and enjoyed her body as I sucked. Still I sucked, enjoying his cock trying to ignore my humiliation. He stopped me and went back to focusing on her alone. I was humiliated and turned on beyond measure. I sat and drank scotch but was not allowed to touch myself. Soon they drifted to the bedroom of the suite. I waited until called, I was allowed to rub myself in my panties as I waited. I finished my scotch as I did. Listening.

I entered the bedroom and sat as commanded in a chair at the foot of the bed. They were naked and playing. He ate her pussy and gave her a nice orgasm as a warm up. She humiliated me by saying he had replaced the one last thing I did well, licking her. Now I would have nothing left to give her she couldn't get elsewhere. He put a condom on and began to fuck her. I watched as she enjoyed him filling her, her hands roamed his body. He has a lean strong body. He was in the military for many years and his body is athletic and strong, moderately hairy, very manly. She was enjoying feeling it against her. The look in her eyes told me she was very much enjoying him. They focused on each other, only occasionally talking to me as they switched positions. Soon he came, shooting on to her pussy. I was made to lick it up. They both loved this. She would tell me later how hot it was to feel me licking it off her pussy. They kissed and held each other as I did. Then I was made to lick him clean as well. Again they cuddled and kissed as I did. Enjoying each other as I cleaned them. I felt humiliated by all of this of course. My little penis throbbed in my panties, I struggled with how much I enjoyed it as I licked up his cum and then sucked his cock. I sometimes describe hating myself for how mow much I enjoy the humiliation of being a sissy, it is difficult to describe liking something so much, craving it when it isn't present and being angry with myself for loving it so much when it is in front of me. Goddess told me later she was surprised I reacted so well, for the first time I watched a man make her cum, fuck her with his far superior cock making her feel like I never could, all while he said humiliating things to me - yet I licked up his cum and sucked his cock like he was my lover not hers. She said that when she saw that it confirmed in her mind I was truly a sissy at heart, not just pretending to be one for her. After he recovered a little he made me lie down on the bed and he leaned over me and fucked my mouth with his thick cock. Goddess rubbed me in my panties as they talked, laughed at how much I was enjoying it goddess rubbed me in my panties. I didn't care about the laughter, I was enjoying being fucked in the mouth by this stud. I took his cock deep into my throat, goddess was very proud of how I took him. We weren't able to play much longer and it ended before we could make him cum again.

It was a very erotic experience for Goddess and I. Our first real bull. He is such a stud, he knows just what we are looking for and is able to give it to us. We are both excited to see him again, soon. Goddess has talked about it many times in the last few days. There was one moment where in the middle of fucking Goddess got up to use the RR. He came over to me and had me stroke him to keep him hard. He said humiliating things to me, yet my mouth watered for his cock. I wanted to suck him badly. He noticed this and humiliated me for it. It was extremely intense for me. There is a kind of hangover for me, after this intense night, I struggle with my feelings. Goddess helps keep me clear, reminds me who I am, who I should be for her and for us. Her sissy cuckold.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

letter from a bull

The picture above and letter below are from a new bull we met online. We haven't met in person yet but I am thinking it will happen soon and I am looking forward to it. I think goddess is as well. She gets so busy its hard for her to make a lot of time for play but I know she needs it.

This is what is going to happen. We will all be on the same bed. You will be wearing your prettiest panties and you will be sitting up with your back against the headboard. You will watch your wife and I kiss and slowly strip each other's clothes off our bodies in front of you. Then, I am going to stand on the bed and straddle you with my cock in front of your face. 

Your wife is going to crawl up on the side of you and whisper into your ear while she is stroking your cock. She is going to tell you to make me hard with your tongue. She's going to tell you to lick my balls. She's going to tell you to suck my cock and take as much of me in your mouth as you can. All this time she's going to be telling you what a real man I am. She's going to be asking you why can't your cock to be as big as mine. She's going to ask you why you can't fuck her like her lovers can. And all this time she will be stroking your cock through your panties. She is going to get you close but she is not going to let you cum. 

After you have made me hard, I am going to give you a condom and tell you to put it on me so I can fuck your wife. 

I am going to position ourselves at the foot of the bed crosswise so you can watch my cock enter your wife's beautiful pussy. I am going to ask you if you can see how wide by thick cock stretches your wife's pussy. Stretches is it like you can't because you are so small. 

When I am getting close to cumming, I am going to put her on her hands and knees facing you so she can touch your cock through your panties. We are both going to be asking you why you can't fuck her like I am. She's going to be stroking your cock, maybe she'll even lick the head of your cock. I will be holding her hips and fucking her hard and deep, looking straight at you while I am doing this to her. She is going to stroke and rub your cock until you cum. Until you dribble your tiny little amount of cum and it soaks through your pretty panties.

Then I am going to have your wife lay on her back facing you with her legs spread open so you can see her wet pussy. I am going to kneel to the side of her, take off my condom, and jerk off onto her pussy. I want you to see how much a real man can cum. And then, she's going to tell you to be a good little boy and lick all of my cum off her pussy.

Hmmmm sounds very humiliating and sexy.....not sure if I am worried or excited, lol of course in the end the sissy wins out and I am excited to lick that sexy bull cum off her!

Sunday, February 8, 2015

a true cuckold experience...

Last week she was supposed to meet the new bull, the first real bull in our lives - the one who will enjoy taking her in front of me and humiliating me while he does it. He ended up putting us off for a week. But goddess new favorite lover happened to text her that day so we set up to meet him. This would be a new thing, they had played in front of me one other time - the first time. But it was just me watching no humiliation or real cuckolding sissy stuff. The other times they have played it has been just the two of them somewhere. She coached him on what she was looking for - bull like things to do. So we met at a hotel room. They almost immediately were on each other in a deep embrace peeling each other clothes off. His magnificent cock was hard as iron by the time she got it out of his boxers. They made their way to the bedroom and i followed still dressed. I sat in a chair as directed by goddess and pulled off my jeans exposing my very sissy Andrew Christian undies. Goddess would occasionally turn and humiliate me as would her lover - he took to her coaching very well, she was pleased. At one point she beckoned me to her and took my semi limp lil penis in her mouth. She then proceeded to slap my penis and balls even grabbing my balls and squeezing them very hard - the pain was intense. When her lover saw this she told him "his pain is my pleasure". They made love for about two hours with him cumming twice. Their lovemaking was very passionate, something she said she had decided not to hide from me - which is why i call it lovemaking not sex or fucking. They had an intermission where they chatted, caressed, fondled and made out leading to a deep embrace where he fingered her and she stroked him getting him ready for round two. At one point during the intermission I left the room - i felt like they deserved/needed some privacy as they chatted and caressed.

I didn't cum that night and I still haven't as I type this. I have given goddess several orgasms since, she seems very horny since that night. I of course have relived the night often in the few days since, it is very fresh in my mind. When i think about that night all the humiliation, jealousy and pain come rushing back. It was hard to watch but those feelings quickly give way to lust, joy and a deep feeling of love want and desire for goddess...she looked amazingly beautiful that night being fucked by her lover who is a very good looking stud with a swimmers taught muscular body.

Mostly right now I just really want to such is the life of a sissy cuckold...

Tuesday, February 3, 2015


I have not cum for a week. She has never made me wait this long before and I certainly have never gone this long on my own before. If left to my own devices an orgasm a day is minimum and 3 is more typical. Of course I cum small amounts - cliche but very true. And I typically cum soft or mostly so. But I cum, the orgasm feels so wonderful even limp like a sissy. I know when she lets me cum it will be ruined....just leaking out. I should be happy she has never taken an interest in denying me before and I have always enjoyed the fantasy of it and the anticipation. She seems very into it now - to my pleasure and chagrin.

Goddess and I are meeting the the last bull pictured in the previous post some night this week. She seems excited. I am excited as well as we haven never had a real bull before and he seems to fit the part and enjoys being one. He wants me involved, there to watch and be I really should be more careful of what I wish for....