This blog relates the real life adventures of a married couple in their 30's. We are happily married for more than 10 years and have chosen to open our marriage up to new sexual realities, including cuckolding, sissification and a wife led marriage. All while loving each other more each day. If this is not your thing it's OK but this may not be the place for you. If you enjoy it please feel free to leave a comment. If you have questions please leave those as well. It is written by both Goddess and sissy - sharing all our thoughts and feelings regarding the journey. All the pictures on here are taken by me or found on the web. If I found it on the web I assumed it was part of the public domain. If you see a picture that is yours and want it removed please let me know and I will remove it.

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Saturday, February 4, 2017

chastity, pleasuring and realizations

Last night I pleasured goddess all night with my fingers and tongue. She was mostly subdued like she was getting a back rub, she didn't cum. She just layed back enjoying hours of me licking her ass hole, pushing my face deep in her cheeks as she reclined on her side snacking and binge watching her favorite show. Or sucking a boob and rubbing her pussy as she layed straight back and watched her show snacking and drinking. She payed little attention to me sexually or made any noise like a woman in sexual bliss, save the occasional sigh of enjoyment. She spoke to me in loving terms and treated me quite normally. Truth is I think the sexual turn on and sexual need is very much second to the power and worship she felt from my attention. It has become clear, to both of us I think, she is very much enjoying her sense of power control and my need for her. This gets her wet and makes her desire my attention. She isnt like the stories you read, she isnt craving big cocks or actual sex, though I think she is thinking more about it than before. What she does really enjoy is my need, my humiliation and making me crazy with desire for her. At the end of the night she would not let me rub my pantied little penis against her sexy booty and cum as she lay there drifting off. Instead when she new I was close she rolled away and told me I had to do it myself. I had not cum in a week so I was grateful for any release at all. She is upset I haven't been in my cage this week due to a health issue. So I rubbed myself off while she called me her poor anxious little sissy and giggled. I came in my panties. The cage goes back on Sunday night with no definite release date. I have a feeling this one will last longer than a week. 

Goddess wants me to get a tag for my cage like the one below. Mommy is my pet name for her when she is being soft and loving, like last night.

Spontaneous ejaculation

So I have been caged by goddess for a while now, with days out of it for good behavior. I am allowed to look at porn. I was home one afternoon looking at porn i had been in my cage for sometime. I got a tingly feeling in my balls like an orgasm was nearing. Goddess texted and told me to go ahead and cum inside my cage. It was really quite amazing in a way. No shaking the cage or vibrating the cage just looking at porn, thinking of her, feeling very much a sissy and it built to the point of no return. The video above is a snippet of the video I made for goddess, part of her text required this. When it happened it was almost like peeing at first, just cum oozing out then a kind of intense feeling of my balls contracting but really not much of an orgasm, not much relief and not the joyous crescendo of a yummy orgasm, Just a kind of pressure release valve triggered and an oozing of cum. I was still horny for sure. It happened once again since. I worry now that goddess knows this is possible how long will she extend my days being caged?

Tuesday, January 17, 2017


So my new chastity device arrived today. I have had cb6000 for some time but never really got the hang of wearing it and frankly when I did it wasnt attractive. Its too big, go figure, my penis slips out the crack and it makes my balls ache. Plus the plastic just isnt attractive. But it didnt really matter as Goddess wasnt that into it either and never insisted I wear it. Until recently, Goddess has a renewed interest in chastity, she saw some pics on my tumblr feed and was smitten with the idea. I know sounds like the plot of how many porn stories, she saw it on my porn history, tumblr feed etc...but there you have it. So I shopped for something I would find more comfortable and she would find attractive. Enter the bird cage by mature metals. Very sexy metal design, she loved it. So after 5 weeks of hand crafting it arrived today and its on me now.
So first off, way more comfortable than the cb. Second it looks like it fits me, as small as I am and you can get them even smaller but only by 1/2" which I could have but I wanted a little room to stretch for his little morning chubby. Of course in no way can I reach my full 3.5" hardness but thats the point right? Btw if you do order one of these get the sizing rings to get the right fit, I would have had no idea but with the rings I think I did well. You can customize length, girth, rings they build it just for you which I really liked. Very helpful answering questions as well, I had too many but sissy's are prone to asking a lot of questions right?

So now how do I feel. Initially it is very erotic. It is holding my penis which has now started to fill the cage more fully. But I am unable to touch myself so I cant fully enjoy the eroticism and now the reality of denial is starting to set in. The ability to rub my penis in my panties is gone, you have no idea how much I love doing that....looking at porn and rubbing.....its gone.

I will update of course. Also our Bull has re-entered the picture. Goddess is interested in him playing some role in further sissifying me. I have no idea what the role for him will be but I hope it involves me sucking his magnificent cock.

Monday, January 16, 2017

the new normal or maybe just normal...

So last weekend we had one of those chats again. You know where my sissy angst gets the best of me and I try to say I deserve more, I need more. And she is good, as always she listens and we talk. I bargain, asking for more not even sure what it is I want, just more sex - sexuality etc.. trying to find more satisfaction for myself. Then she begins to laugh, more like a giggle...doesnt say anything just looks and giggles...while I am talking - considering I am fully dressed it catches me off guard. So I stop and ask whats so funny. She looks at me and says "look.... you have a tiny penis, so just be happy youre getting anything at all and thank me". So two things happen. I feel ashamed and aroused. My mind starts to process, anger, sadness, arousal, little penis is way ahead and begins tingling and amazingly starts to firm up (I dont get hard very often these days and to begin to do it without her touching it surprises me). I realize she is right, its been decided and agreed on long ago what the reality. But I always seem to forget, it isnt just a game and the reality of it never fails to arouse me terribly.

So I want to thank the two readers who reached out to encourage me. One in a comment on my last post and one who emailed me at the address up top. It is nice to know folks read these things and enjoy hearing about our lives. The new cage has not arrived yet which is fine with me. I am not anxious to be locked up. She is already letting slip in small bites that she is looking for this to be semi permanent. I will miss touching my little penis, rubbing it against her, rubbing it myself in some nice soft panties....sigh. But she loves the idea and I know this one is already lost. I will as requested post a picture of my in it and her holding my caged little penis. The picture I included for no particular reason other than I thought it was incredibly hot.....and would I rather be with her abot to fuck her or be her about to get fucked.....

Tuesday, January 3, 2017


Goddess and I have been much the same recently. She hasnt played since the last post, she doesnt seem to be much interested in that. We have been focusing on us, making sure we are both happy in our relationship. We have come to a place of accepting that a FLR is what we both want. I was surprised a bit when I found out how much she values being goddess. I guess I always felt she was doing this for me, making things work for us given my limitations and wants. And I suppose maybe it was that way in the beginning. At this point she has grown to value this relationship, her being in charge, me being her submissive sissy. In fact we drafted up the beginnings of a contract. It was overdue to be done and we both knew that. We have some non-negotiable items that she requires of me as well as a list of expectations for my behavior. I think it brought some real clarity and meaning for both of us. She seems very happy with it.  

I ordered a chastity device on Goddess orders, it is similar to the one pictured. Goddess seems to really enjoy the idea of keeping me locked. I will update when it arrives. I am excited but very worried, I know I will miss the ability to touch and rub my little penis in my panties. Goddess expects me to blog weekly according to her list of expectations, so if anyone is still reading this blog it will become much more active.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Another night with the Bull.....

Goddess spent the night with her Bull the other night. I was home, watching the kids. She met him at a hotel, had drinks then went up to the room he selected for the night. She had not seen him since the last post, she hadn't seen anyone. So it was quite a dry spell for her. When they got to the room they kissed and undressed. He brought a toy he wanted to use on her and she had brought a vibrator. They played for quite a while from the sound of it. He got her very wet and ready, as you can see from the picture she texted me.

Then he began to fuck her. At some point they decided to call me while he fucked her. She told me how big he felt inside her, how deep he was going. Then she couldn't talk anymore, he had sped up and was pounding her. I could hear him slapping against her and hear her incoherent moaning. Then he spoke, he reminded me how inferior I was, how impotent. He told me how well he was fucking her. That I could never do that. He made me agree to each of these things as he said them. She heard him too and my responses. She told me later she loved it. She loved hearing him talk to me that way, calling me a sissy and demeaning me, humiliating me in front of her. Showing his power and my weakness. Then he hung up. Then she sent me the picture below. His big manly cock having shot his load onto her very sexy pussy. She took a video of it we watched later that night in bed. I wanted to eat that cum so badly as I watched it squirt. She moaned as it splattered her pussy.

They talked, kissed, played and eventually fucked again. This time she texted me and told me not to answer. He left me a voicemail. I have listened to it many times since that night.

"I am fucking the goddess again, I'm fucking her because you can't. She is begging me to fuck her harder. I ask if I am too deep and she says deeper. I ask if it's hard enough and she asks for harder. She says fuck me because (my name) can't fuck me". At this point I can hear her echo his words about me not being able to fuck her. Followed by a really loud long moan by her and some words I can't hear. She gets very loud and I can hear him pounding her. Then his voice is back. "This is how you should be fucking her" and her screaming "yes!". "This is how she sounds when she is being fucked by a real man with a real cock". She is now screaming "Yes!" and "Oh God" and things I can't hear. Then he hangs up. He is right, she has never sounded like that when I have fucked her. The reason is the pic below and no it doesn't grow much from there. Fully hard I am about 4 inches.

To clarify, she has with other men acted things out for all our entertainment. I didn't need to ask, I could tell from listening but later she did confirm it was real. She didn't even recall what she had said, she was in a daze of enjoyment. They were together, alone, for over 5 hrs. She has never spent that much time alone with another man. I knew at some point of course that could change, that she might even spend the night with a man. But it was still a first and further cause for jealousy and feeling inferior. The whole thing was so humiliating, so emasculating - I almost came without touching myself from the feelings. It was intense. I love her as much as I can ever remember. And I want to suck his cock more than I have wanted to suck anyone in a long time. And yes Mr. Bull, I do feel pathetic.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016


Once again I apologize for the long time between posts. Not much has changed really. We are in a sort of holding pattern when it comes to anyone outside playing with us. We have not played with anyone since our bull  which i wrote about. Goddess got very busy in her business. She enjoys her career very much, as stressful as it is. She loves being in charge, running a company - it fulfills her. If I am truly second to anyone or thing it is to her company. We all are at times. But I get it, I was once in the same place - the only difference being I am type B she is type A so she is more intense about it and driven then I was. I do want her to enjoy what she is doing, to be able to live out that desire the same as I have always enjoyed watching her fulfill other desires. Plus I am grateful as she is know the breadwinner. My place is now second to her in all things.

We have entered a new place in our relationship. She has found that she enjoys whipping me. She whips me several times a week. It begins with me laying face down on our bed with my panties or gay boy undies pulled down to my knees. I lay and wait, sometimes for quite a while - she likes to make me anticipate the coming pain. She uses a crop with a longish barrel connecting the leather end. Her favorite is to use the barrel like a cane, leaving a deep red stripe across my ass cheeks which are very white. She makes several each whipping, sometimes as many as 6 or 7. The worst ones last for days and have a welt the length of the stripe. She loves making me whimper, almost cry. She asks me if I am enjoying it and I whimper out a no, almost crying most times. She loves hearing me tell her I don't like it, it hurts. When she is done she rubs lotion into my cheeks and I tell her how much I love her, sometimes she holds me as the pain subsides.

She has had the opportunity to play many times with lovers. We ran into one at a restaurant the other night. she flirted with him discreetly they may have done more when they were out of my sight.  After he left he texted her relentlessly the rest of the night begging for her to come over. She didnt but she enjoyed the attention. She loves attention and flattery. Her favorite lovers pursue her, they flatter and email and text. She loves that. Even the bull has pursued some. She enjoys his emails very much. When she is ready to play again I am sure it will be him. He is very sexy and manly. I text him sometimes. He enjoys humiliating me and hearing what we are up to. I enjoy his humiliation and attention. I would message him more but since goddess isnt playing I dont want to bug him. And I am not totally sure what he wants to hear from me when we do message. I rub and edge thinking about him sometimes, his big thick cock, I cant wait to suck it again. He wants me to do more humiliating things to him in front of goddess. I want to please him so I will do them all gladly including eating his manly cum loads off goddess. I would gladly serve him as I have her other lovers, alone to keep him satisfied but he doesn't seem to want that. I know goddess would like hearing how I served him too, that is a favorite of hers.

As for me I have not played either. I think she would be OK with it if my regular man was available but sadly he hasnt responded to my texts lately. I would really love to suck a cock again and more, much more. I havent had a cock in my ass in a long time so I would definitely need to stretch if I did have the chance again. For now I just watch my sissy videos and dream...