I am trying very hard to uphold the name Goddess.  Sometimes I don't feel like one. The hardest thing for me ts to refrain from being so selfish.  Being so self-focused is par for the course but doesn't give me free reign to ignore giving my sissy what she desires.  Make no mistake, I absolutely give her what she needs by way of teasing by dancing for her and making her feel like man again but then teasing her little clitty reminding her she's not a real man.  I punish her in the way I see fit administering whips from the crop on her ass, thighs and ballsbut what she desires I don't gravitate towards.  I of course, gravitate towards my desires and/or giving her pleasure as I want to without her in mind.  This is what it is to be Goddess as well, right? However, since she is my cuchold sissy there are paraemeters or rules we keep that we call "the economy."  She will glady give me "bananas" as long as she gets her "coffee."  When the economy gets out of balance, that is when she becomes an unhappy sissy.  This doesn't happen very often because we "check-in" weekly to make sure we are both still in agreement with "the economy".

It's not hard, she just wants to be physically dominated and used by me.  Things I like to do but instead, I continually put my desires before hers.  They look like things that are easy and really fun! For ME.  Go out with my boyfriend, meet my TC over the lunch hour to be his whore and get pounded by him for an hour, seduce other men of interest as the seduction game is very fun for me as well is the mistress role.  None of these scenarios include my sissy.  Although I don't disclude her on purpose.  I am still trying to figure what would be fun to do together.  I know that challenging fun that breeds a little competition or jealousy is good for me, for us so we are discussing the next step to make an appropriate scenario happen.  My interest in a femmesub has waxed and wained so we are going to begin exploring the idea of a couple I can send her to serve.  We've approached and begun down this road before but I haulted it as I get too jealous.  However, I feel I am ready to try this again.  I know Shelly is!  Tonight we are going to put what we are looking for on our profile on a swingers site.  We will see how it goes.