Chastity

So my new chastity device arrived today. I have had cb6000 for some time but never really got the hang of wearing it and frankly when I did it wasnt attractive. Its too big, go figure, my penis slips out the crack and it makes my balls ache. Plus the plastic just isnt attractive. But it didnt really matter as Goddess wasnt that into it either and never insisted I wear it. Until recently, Goddess has a renewed interest in chastity, she saw some pics on my tumblr feed and was smitten with the idea. I know sounds like the plot of how many porn stories, she saw it on my porn history, tumblr feed etc...but there you have it. So I shopped for something I would find more comfortable and she would find attractive. Enter the bird cage by mature metals. Very sexy metal design, she loved it. So after 5 weeks of hand crafting it arrived today and its on me now.

So first off, way more comfortable than the cb. Second it looks like it fits me, as small as I am and you can get them even smaller but only by 1/2" which I could have but I wanted a little room to stretch for his little morning chubby. Of course in no way can I reach my full 3.5" hardness but thats the point right? Btw if you do order one of these get the sizing rings to get the right fit, I would have had no idea but with the rings I think I did well. You can customize length, girth, rings etc...so they build it just for you which I really liked. Very helpful answering questions as well, I had too many but sissy's are prone to asking a lot of questions right?

So now how do I feel. Initially it is very erotic. It is holding my penis which has now started to fill the cage more fully. But I am unable to touch myself so I cant fully enjoy the eroticism and now the reality of denial is starting to set in. The ability to rub my penis in my panties is gone, you have no idea how much I love doing that....looking at porn and rubbing.....its gone.

I will update of course. Also our Bull has re-entered the picture. Goddess is interested in him playing some role in further sissifying me. I have no idea what the role for him will be but I hope it involves me sucking his magnificent cock.

the new normal or maybe just normal...

So last weekend we had one of those chats again. You know where my sissy angst gets the best of me and I try to say I deserve more, I need more. And she is good, as always she listens and we talk. I bargain, asking for more not even sure what it is I want, just more sex - sexuality etc.. trying to find more satisfaction for myself. Then she begins to laugh, more like a giggle...doesnt say anything just looks and giggles...while I am talking - considering I am fully dressed it catches me off guard. So I stop and ask whats so funny. She looks at me and says "look.... you have a tiny penis, so just be happy youre getting anything at all and thank me". So two things happen. I feel ashamed and aroused. My mind starts to process, anger, sadness, arousal, shame....my little penis is way ahead and begins tingling and amazingly starts to firm up (I dont get hard very often these days and to begin to do it without her touching it surprises me). I realize she is right, its been decided and agreed on long ago what the reality. But I always seem to forget, it isnt just a game and the reality of it never fails to arouse me terribly.



So I want to thank the two readers who reached out to encourage me. One in a comment on my last post and one who emailed me at the address up top. It is nice to know folks read these things and enjoy hearing about our lives. The new cage has not arrived yet which is fine with me. I am not anxious to be locked up. She is already letting slip in small bites that she is looking for this to be semi permanent. I will miss touching my little penis, rubbing it against her, rubbing it myself in some nice soft panties....sigh. But she loves the idea and I know this one is already lost. I will as requested post a picture of my in it and her holding my caged little penis. The picture I included for no particular reason other than I thought it was incredibly hot.....and would I rather be with her abot to fuck her or be her about to get fucked.....

update....

Goddess and I have been much the same recently. She hasnt played since the last post, she doesnt seem to be much interested in that. We have been focusing on us, making sure we are both happy in our relationship. We have come to a place of accepting that a FLR is what we both want. I was surprised a bit when I found out how much she values being goddess. I guess I always felt she was doing this for me, making things work for us given my limitations and wants. And I suppose maybe it was that way in the beginning. At this point she has grown to value this relationship, her being in charge, me being her submissive sissy. In fact we drafted up the beginnings of a contract. It was overdue to be done and we both knew that. We have some non-negotiable items that she requires of me as well as a list of expectations for my behavior. I think it brought some real clarity and meaning for both of us. She seems very happy with it.  


I ordered a chastity device on Goddess orders, it is similar to the one pictured. Goddess seems to really enjoy the idea of keeping me locked. I will update when it arrives. I am excited but very worried, I know I will miss the ability to touch and rub my little penis in my panties. Goddess expects me to blog weekly according to her list of expectations, so if anyone is still reading this blog it will become much more active.